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Theia Gwen May 2014
That girl
Is skin and bones
Takes long drags on her cigarette
Makes funny comments
About not eating
She's mysterious and vague
And she's not real
Eating disorders are not fun,
Or cute, or romantic, or tragically beautiful
There's nothing romantic
About worrying about
Your breath smelling
Of ***** while kissing
Someone you love
There's nothing romantic
About seeing an expensive dinner
Your boyfriend bought you
Swim blurrily in the toilet
There's nothing beautiful
About rotted teeth
And hair growing on your arms
If you think this is beautiful,
You can have it in exchange
For the ability to do basic things
I need in order to live
Like ******* eat  
It's not beautiful
To never feel beautiful
And never love yourself
So when we see ribs on a girl
And you see romance,
I'll see her ribs
As a cage
Keeping the pain in
My bulimia has come back bad again.
Theia Gwen May 2014
Younger days,
Time long ago
How we've changed
Yeah, how we've grown
I couldn't have known
The gravity of that day
The clock ticked by
Everything felt the same
I don't believe in fate,
Not sure about destiny
Red strings are cute
But they aren't for me
We could have been
Like parallel lines
Could have gone on living
Without knowing your name
Forever in ignorance
Of what could have been
It would have passed by
Longing for a face never seen
We weren't parallel lines
Love caught me in its net
It all came together
On the day we met
Theia Gwen May 2014
Nobody can age without
Making mistakes
So I know that we're both
Destined to change
The soles of our shoes
Have grown side by side
But someday you'll go left
And I'll turn right
Memories are fallible
But they can't be replaced
And I'll use this faulty camera
To hold onto pictures of your youthful face
And no matter how much happens
No matter if we say goodbye
I will always remember you
You'll always be nearby
Because you're like Midas
With you, I felt like gold, loved and unpriced
This gold mine heart will linger
With your touch my whole life
I feel like my ability to accurately title my poems has declined greatly. If you have any suggested titles for any of my poems, please tell me. :) This poems for my Nicholas, of course.
Theia Gwen May 2014
I am stuck in a long hallway
Of mirrors
Each one shows something new
And unfamiliar
I can't even tell
Which one is me
Because I have expectations
But I can't see reality
I wish I could just perform
A vanishing act
Because I can't stand
The image that reflects
I am done with seeing
Elongated arms and chubby legs
And that twisted symphony
Repeating in my head
The number on the scale
Can never get too small    
Cause the mirror looks the same
When I leave the bathroom stall
Always something different
I just wish there was consistency
Because these carnival mirrors
Have got me hating all of me
On body dysmorphic disorder and bulimia. I pretty much feel this way every time I look into a mirror.
Theia Gwen May 2014
You deserve more
Than what this world
Could ever give to you
And trust me,
If I could take your pain
And suffering
And make it my own
I'd do it in a heartbeat
Because you are more beautiful
Than Michelangelo's David,
And you turned this pessimist
Into a believer in humanity
And you've turned this atheist
Into a believer of angels
Because what else could you be?
And you make me wish there was More
Because I want more for you
Because every time my ears against
Your chest
It reminds me
That when it comes down to it,
You're just human
And no human can escape oblivion
But you deserve so much better
Because it's amazing
That there are 7 billion people
But when we're together,
I only see you
And I hope you only see me
Theia Gwen May 2014
It's so easy
To slice through those
Writs of yours;
It's so easy
To make an excuse
Not to eat;
It's so easy
To smoke yourself
To death;
It's so easy
To open your mouth
And purge your problems away;
But it's so hard
To open your mouth
And speak
Not my best. I've been having writer's block when it comes to poetry and my depression has just come back full force so I've been doing more sleeping than anything else.
Theia Gwen Apr 2014
I have such high aspirations
But I feel so low
Tell me, can I live a happy life
Without giving up my soul?

And none of my dreams
Are grounded in reality
Why should I pay thousands
To be who I want to be?

I'm not too proud of my address
Daddy can't buy me every pretty thing
I'm just a girl in the lower middle class
In a world where money is king
I really want to get a PhD in Psychology and become a therapist when I grow up, but I'm terrified I won't have the money and will have to compensate my dreams.
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