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Alex Mar 2020
"Life is hard."
I hear it all the time
but there's something about that sentence
that they're not getting right

Life isn't something you can touch
and it's not something you can see
it's something deep within us
that allows us to just... be

No, LIFE isn't hard
the word you're looking for is LIVE
See, living takes a lot of effort
that some people just can't give

It's not that we don't want to
or that we're not trying hard enough
it's just... sometimes the things we go through
make living kind of tough

From heartbreak to mistakes
or losing your best friend
the world is filled with heartache
that makes it harder to pretend...

Oh, I know we say we're fine
and that everything's just "swell"
but inside we're slowly drowning
and I'm not surprised that you can't tell

See, some of us are experts
at putting on a mask
like robots, we can nod our heads
and even smile when you ask

But if by chance you ever managed to
see beyond the words we say
you might glimpse the inner demons
that we battle every day

From self-hate to self-harm
and a variety of bad self-thoughts
sometimes, they just find their way to us
but sometimes it's what we're taught

Depression and Anxiety and unrelenting OCD
panic attacks and flashbacks and even PTSD
these aren't excuses we come up with
they're just harsh reality

It's not our fault we have them
they're not something that we choose
they're just the hands that we've been dealt
and aren't at liberty to refuse

So in honor of these silent soldiers
who walk through life invisibly scarred
the next time you want to say that phrase
remember... it's not LIFE but LIVING that's hard...
we all got our battles... no matter how small
  Feb 2020 Alex
Zank
poem
notes
Alex Feb 2020
(Verse 1)
Help me
I can't carry on like this
oh darling, without you
I've lost my purpose
when I was with you
it was like the stars had found their shine
I just don't know what I 'ma do without you in my life

(Verse 2)
I trusted you
with all my broken pieces
but you took my heart and left me
all alone and speechless
You gave me all theses promises
said you wouldn't let me hurt no more
but you took those pretty lies of yours
and walked right out the door...

(Chorus)
Still, here I am...
crying on my knees
feeling so ashamed of
all my desperate pleas
you'd already made your mind up
but i still begged you helplessly
baby darling please please please...
don't walk away from me

(Verse 3)
I can't breathe
feels like i'm drowning all the time
all the signs that you were sending
made me believe that you were mine
it's like you were the fire and i was the moth
I couldn't help but be drawn in
time after time I said I wouldn't get burnt
but here I am again...

(Chorus)
Still, here I am...
crying on my knees
feeling so ashamed of
all my desperate pleas
you'd already made your mind up
but i still begged you helplessly
baby darling please please please...
don't walk away from me...

(Bridge... I think?)
oh.. i'm broken
down crying
yeah, my tears are falling like rain
you don't want me
but I want you
and that's what's causing me this pain
Oh I brought you flowers
gave you all my hours
but you still backed up all your things
and even though i begged you...
begged you not to leave
you still walked away from me...
hey guys and gals!! i just wanted to let you know that this was inspired by a poem called broken by our very own larry marshall... i was given permission to take his poem and attempt to turn it into a song.. and i went ahead and did just that.. i hope y['all like it and i just want to say thank you to larry for the opportunity to create this... i hope ya'' like it!!!!
Alex Jan 2020
"I just want to be happy,"
I said, as tears fell down my face
I just want to be happy
and get the hell out of this place.

I just want to be happy
but I know I'll never feel that here
in this place where love is scarcely shown
and most time is spent in fear...

I just want to be happy
I don't wanna measure up
to some stupid freaking standards
that society made up

I just want to be happy
I just want to feel free
I just want to feel secure...
like I can actually be me

I want to lay down my burden
kick my heels up & relax...
I just want to be happy...
Is that too much to ask?
Happiness seems to evade me at every turn... stupid me...I forget...I'm not meant to be happy...when will I ever learn?
Alex Dec 2019
I know you don't believe me anymore
but I still want to say it.
So, here goes... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for letting you down, time after time.
I'm sorry for repeating the same mistakes, over and over.
I'm sorry for not trying hard enough to get straight A's.
I'm sorry for thinking that A's & B's were good enough.
I'm sorry for not having any common sense.
I'm sorry for being hard-headed & stubborn.
I'm sorry for being passive-aggressive without meaning to.
I'm sorry for not being mature enough for my age.
I'm sorry for breaking the rules.
I'm sorry for going through the fridge without permission and eating food that doesn't belong to me.
I'm sorry for occasionally taking things that aren't mine from around the house because no one uses them anymore.
I'm sorry that I'm not as angelic as my little sisters.
I'm sorry for all the headaches I've given you.
I'm sorry for all the fights I've caused between you and Dad.
I'm sorry for being a disappointment.
I'm sorry that I like to watch TV.
I'm sorry that I get distracted easily.
I'm sorry that you think I'm weird.
I'm sorry for how I look when I take a picture.
I'm sorry for having an uncontrollable habit that led to me creating scars all over my face.
I'm sorry for having depression and anxiety.
I'm sorry that I have ADHD that I don't know how to control.
I'm sorry that I don't fit in anywhere.
I'm sorry for spending 12 of my 16 years of life trying to make you as proud of me as possible, but instead making you count the days until my 18th birthday so I won't be your problem anymore.
I'm sorry for being a horrible person in your eyes.
I'm sorry that you think I'm heartless because I never cry in front of you.
I'm sorry that you think I don't care about anyone or anything.
But most of all,  I'm sorry that you think that this is actually who I am...
I'm sorry for never reaching your crazy standards and for never being good enough.
I guess... I'm sorry for being human.
Alex Dec 2019
they think they know
what my life is like
but they don't sit here
listening to their parents' fight
praying for it to end
while they argue past midnight
trying  my hardest to pretend
that things will be alright
but knowing they won't
cuz you can't fix something
that was never even whole
to start with...
and when they do get along
you're not happy, you're scared
you hold your breath
and make sure to stay aware
cuz it never lasts long
and once they start they won't stop
so you sit and just wait
for the other shoe to drop...
Alex Dec 2019
" We need to stop raising boys to think that they need to prove their masculinity by being controlling or not showing emotion or by not being little girls." (-Gloria Steinem)

I'm tired of people saying
that boys should never cry
crying is part of feeling--
which we should never deny
boys can be hurt
and boys can bleed
and sometimes crying
is just something they need
it doesn't make them girly
or any bit less strong
it just proves they have a heart
so how can it be wrong?
if having a heart
and showing it means
that you're not good enough
or you're thought of as weak
then quite honestly
i really don't think
i'd like to be a part of
this society
So cry all you want boys...
it's okay...
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