I don't use beautiful, eloquent language
that softly tumbles from the mouth.
I don't write unique metaphors
that make the world seem profound and meaningful.
Life is short and simple
and that is how I write.

Your car was in a parking lot. I was immediately paralyzed by fear. A sigh of relief escaped me when a young woman opened the door.
2. I saw you in Elliot Rodgers. How he believed that women exist to fulfill his needs. When he took out those who didn't.
3. Your face appeared in a dream. Patronizing me, chastising me. Blood blossomed from my wrists. I woke up disappointed.

I'm very tired
but my head is full of you
so sleep eludes me

Life is dreadful but
who knows if death is any
more desirable.

I can’t be the girl
that’s got it all together
managing all that life throws at her
and still keeping a smile on her face
I’m the girl with a panic attack around every corner
who manages to turn a small task
into a mental breakdown

I can’t be the girl
who’s happy just to be on this earth
smiling at your sweet words
even on the worst of days
I’m the girl that wakes up most days
wishing she never existed
because that would be better
than living as a complete failure

I can’t be the girl
who believes you when you say
“i love you”
accepting your compliments
and knowing she is beautiful
I’m the girl that sees every part of herself as a flaw
and can’t understand how you could love
someone completely worthless

I can’t be that girl.
I'm just me.

what i'd really like to do
is cut into my veins
to search for answers
about how to make my heart stop beating
how to stop feeling
how to find the courage
to end it all

for now
i settle for reality tv
and gorging myself on junk food
but the thoughts still linger
eating away at any sanity i have left

special skills? well, i
write depressing poetry
late at night, sometimes.