The New Kestrel: Favorites

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

R

its all my fault
thats all ive ever known.
i did this to myself.
i *deserved what happened.
i did this to myself.
its all my fault
thats all ive ever known.
i deserved what happened.

he deserves to be their favorite.
who cares if i make honor roll or
become president of every club
or becoming every teachers *******
(being a smart student, not the hot kind.)
or being respected or listening to my parents
or smiling even when im dying inside.
none of it matters,
because im the last choice between
you and i.

i always am and always will be.

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

Untitled

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

R

Untitled

i guess i relasped
i mean,
it wasn't like i made another
40 lines but
i made another 3
and in the end
it all adds up anyways,
right?

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

Block

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

Hana Gabrielle

Block

something has clogged
my truth within me
rusted pipes
deny me
my iv drip of honesty
the syllables that used to slip
right out
now crawl
with the echoed
tip tap
of blind rats
finding their way
to light

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

20/20 hindsight

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

---

20/20 hindsight

Have you noticed that
When you reflect on things
"I should've..."
I hate the feeling
And I'm stressed lately.
Maybe I can be better
And what's done is done
And I hope everything works out
No bad repercussions for something I
Can fix

My willpower *****.

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

Unfathomable

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

---

Unfathomable

Hearing about these famous poets
Depressed
Depressing
Hearing about people who
**** themselves.
It's sad
And it disgusts me
That somebody would turn to that
That anyone would allow it to happen
To let somebody feel so unloved
That the end would be more attractive
I cannot comprehend
I am not depressed
So I do not have the temptation
Because when I have thought of it
It seemed idiotic
Because there is always at least one person
Who deeply cares
Who thinks of you before falling asleep
I promise
I care
Even if it seems like nobody does
I don't judge others
Choices are your own
But your life is not
Ending yourself brings lifelong scars to everyone.

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

No reasons

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

---

No reasons

I go to sleep now
For really one reason
And only that.
I have nothing to stay awake for.
My love is asleep
And I am not next to her.
Video games get boring.
It's too late for loud music.
My awake friend is mad at me.
Life feels like it's
Not all it's cracked up to be.
I just want to run away
But I'm stuck here legally.
So I escape to the one place I can.
My dreams.

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

Let it out

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

---

Let it out

I can never tell anyone
How I really feel
Or when I need help.
Because inside
I am a burning inferno.
Angry at almost everyone.
Tearing my hair out
Screaming at my tormentors.
It's too much.
Behind my kind and loving demeanor
I am angry.
I really do love and care for others
But I have demons inside
Who must never be let out.

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

Raging Inside of Me

Nov 2013 The New Kestrel

kenye

Raging Inside of Me

What do you do
when you feel useless
to the world that
you're trying to save
from yourself?

The revolution remains
in our head
un-manifested
just like us
trying to formulate
the message we want to express

Or the demons we want to slay
with telepathic laser vision
Burning through our third eyes
with our sights
set on the Goddess

The muse in the mayhem
marching away through the chaos
The thrill in the chase
is the biggest cocktease

Meeting us at our sacrificial
sacred places we like to invent
Meet me under the Moon
and I'll make you howl like
watching the best minds of our generation
destroyed by their own madness

That's how to get back at the world
that tried to make us feel useless