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6.1k · Sep 2013
Like in an Anime
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
I want my glasses to shine and glare
When I push them up my nose.

Maybe then I'll be taken seriously.
They always freak out and get all serious when that happens in anime shows, why not in real life?
4.1k · Aug 2013
Wake Up
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
stabmesoidontdoitmyself
evenifimdreaming
3.7k · Jun 2013
letdown
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
toomanythingsinthisworlddisappointme
3.5k · Mar 2013
Sexist
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
I am treated
Like a useless little girl.
I'm sure a lot of women are.
For example,
When I was little,
I wanted to learn how to carve wood.
I asked my father for a pocket knife.
He told me,
"No. You are too little and fragile.
You might hurt yourself."
I agreed. I was small.
But my brother,
Three years younger,
Asked the same a few months later.
And he got what he wanted.

And then,
Years later,
My brother did the same.
He was told by our mother
To chop ice in the winter.
I knew he wasn't strong enough.
He isn't athletic or strong
As I am.

I asked to do it while he did my assigned chore.
Dishes.
A "woman's chore."
My brother,
My younger,
Smaller,
Weaker brother
Said to me
"Its a big job.
I think I should do it.
You are a girl, after all."
He went and came back.
whining that it was too difficult.

I went and got it done.
Without breaking a sweat.
And then he blamed me for being sexist
And rubbing it in that i was stronger,
When I never said a word.
I just sat,
Clicking my T.V. remote.

I thought about all of the other times,
Countless times in my life when I was treated like this
My most all men in my family.

Really?
I'm the sexist one?
3.4k · Oct 2013
Overdose
The New Kestrel Oct 2013
You are my best medicine.

But, the thing is, I'm on a strict
Schedule. I can't have you whenever I want.
And I can't have as much as I want.

I just hope I don't run out.
3.4k · Sep 2013
Poop
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
My **** today was
Huge
And meaningful
That parkour kid
3.4k · Aug 2013
Webs and Wagon Spokes
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
A speech in a play once described
A Queen of Dreams.
Mab.
The faerie's midwife.

I fear that she may be real.
Plaguing me with dreams that haunt my reality.

Déjà Vu Being nearly
The only feeling I live with.
Romeo and Juliet reference.
Mercutio: Ah, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you.
She is the faerie's midwife and comes in shape no bigger
Than an agate stone on the fore finger of an alderman.
Drawn with a team of little atomies
Athwart men's noses as they lie asleep;
Her wagon spokes make of long spinners' legs,
The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers;
Her traces, of the smallest spider web;
Her collars, of the moonshine's wat'ry beams;
Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film;
Her wagoner, a small grey-coated gnat,
Not half so big as a round little worm
Pricked from the lazy finger of a maid;
Her chariot is an empty hazelnut,
Made by the joiner squirrel or old grub,
Time out o' mind the fairies' coachmakers.
And in this state she gallops night by night
Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love;
O'er courtiers' knees, that dream on curtsies straight;
O'er lawyers' fingers, who straight dream on fees;
O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream,
Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues,
Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are.
Sometimes she gallops o'er a courtier's nose,
And then dreams he of smelling out a suit;
And sometimes comes she with a tithe-pig's tail
Tickling a parson's nose as 'a lies asleep,
Then dreams he of another benefice.
Sometimes she driveth o'er a soldier's neck,
And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats,
Of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,
Of healths five fathom deep; and then anon
Drums in his ear, at which he starts and wakes,
And being thus frighted, swears a prayer or two
And sleeps again. This is that very Mab
That plats the manes of horses in the night
And bakes the elflocks in foul sluttish hairs,
Which once untangled much misfortune bodes.
This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs,
That presses them and learns them first to bear,
Making them women of good carriage.
This is she!
3.2k · Sep 2013
Necklace
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
This chain holds memories.
Loving ones,
Angry ones,
And hungry ones.
The glass reflects them.
Because it was around my neck through it all.

And resonates with my mind,
And everything else is lost to me.
I love it.
2.7k · Jun 2013
Crochet
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
mylifeisweavedstitchbystitch
2.5k · Sep 2013
Dinosaur Tumors
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Technology is taking over.
It is making me and
The natural world sick.

Please help.
2.4k · Sep 2013
Out of Nowhere
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Boo!
I love you, darling!

I always will.
Even if you disappear.

Because we are a math equation.
Numbers and variables,
Exponents and everything else.
It may look complex to some or
Maybe it makes people sick to look at,

But there are tricks and it is easy to figure out.

The simplified equation comes down to
Us*love=
Do you know the final product?
2.4k · Jul 2013
Idiot...
The New Kestrel Jul 2013
You want to know?
You really want to know...?
Well then, you tell me.
Because I have no clue.
When,
Where,
How
Something this important happens.

Are you trying to **** me off?!

Why didn't you tell me?
It's as important to me as it is to you,
Even if its not "ma thang"...

Do you not trust me?
Or are you just an idiot...

I'll explain more tomorrow...
Short little outburst because *someone* has to keep ******* me off. Keeping things from me. Life changing things, at least for him. Is it wrong for me to be angry he kept this from me until three hours before something extremely important happened?
2.4k · Aug 2013
Silhouette
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
As the sun shines through the leaves,
The colors brighten.

But if it attempts to shine through us,
We are left blackened and hollow.
The light is behind
And we are walking away.

Or maybe leaving the darkness behind.
Emerging from our silhouette to show
Our true colors.
2.2k · Jun 2013
Eerie
The New Kestrel Jun 2013
Music in an old horror flick.
The dark sound ringing,
Resonating,
In the ear of the listener.
Raising goose-flesh,
Giving visions of loneliness,
Death,
Fear.

*This is my theme song
2.2k · Sep 2013
Haircut
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
"A new person.
And she used to be
Me.

But...
Her hair is shorter..."


I've always wanted to be different.
I got sick of being compared to
Other girls that all acted and looked the same.

I CRAVED being different.
I craved being the weird one.
I craved doing something unexpected.

Because the world needs a splash of color.

And with that splash,
A ripple effect will come.


It's been my dream to influence others to be themselves,
To be different.

And this is my chance.
At least...

*For now.
1.7k · Sep 2013
Sorry to Disappoint
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
I am nothing special.
Just a girl,
Just a girlfriend,
Just an advice giver.

But underneath it all,
I have a story.
Like everyone else.
I have a complex life, like everyone else.
And I also have a difficult love,
One for everything I hold dear.
And you may too.
And you may also share my story.

A small, thin, preppy girl
Who loves the color pink.

Excels in school.
And gives good advice.

But has always been compared to
Her younger
And weaker
And less intelligent
Brother.

A sexist father that
Never spoke to me.

And a mother who blamed me for everything
And still does.

And both of the people who raised me
Had problems with alcohol
And cigarettes.

And it didn't help at all that
I had mental and intuitive
Capabilities that were lost to me.
And a disease plaguing
My mind that generations past
Have passed to me.

Friends that have betrayed me,
Past loves that have ruined me,
A new love that has made me
feel more than I ever have
And a vision that darkens my skies.

It has ruined me.
Broken me.
Scarred me.

But I am who I am,
Just like you are who you are.

And we are nothing special.

Sorry to disappoint you.
1.6k · Sep 2013
Minority
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Somehow,
I am sure
We will be.
1.6k · Sep 2013
Incense
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
The smoke rises and an aroma fills the room.
Relaxing and intoxicating.

It's just a coincidence that this is your scent.
1.6k · Aug 2013
Succumb
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
I need to relax.
I've been stressed,
Upset,
Over thinking things.
And I need to relax.

A Lavender and Peppermint bath,
Heaven.
A good novel,
Dreamland.
Dubstep to accompany me,
Pleasure beyond imagination.

And finally,
No thinking at all.
Except, maybe a few
Stray thoughts of you...
1.5k · Mar 2013
Duh...
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
No, I don't want a fairy tale.
No, I don't want a Prince Charming,
nor a Princess to confess my love for.
No, I don't want a beautiful wedding
in the woods or near a stream.
No, I don't want my career to make me rich.
No, I don't want my lover to kiss me until I faint.
No, I don't want my children to run and play,
making the best experience out of life.
No, I don't want my daughter to grow and meet her Prince.
No, I don't want my son to find his Princess,
get on his knees and give her a silver ring with the purest of gems.
No, I don't want to die happy, with my grandchildren surrounding my bed.

Let me tell you something.
Let me teach you a lesson.
Let me talk to you,
through this poem,
in a Sarcastic tone.

Duh...
1.5k · Sep 2013
Life Goes On
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Get it?
Things happen and time passes.
At least in my world.
Nothing is worth hanging on to.

I want to move on.
I let out my fears, my emotions,
But you won't let me heal.

Let me go.
Life goes on,
And I want to forget
And forgive myself.
1.4k · Sep 2013
As the Suspense Builds
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
Never again will I stay away.

I've always felt lost. Unaccepted.
But that was before I had a family.
I have so many people that I know and don't;
You are my family.

My mother, my father, my brother.
They aren't real.
They never treated me like family.
Never told me they loved me and
Sounded like they meant it.
They are not real.


But, Sage, my love, you are.
But, Caitlyn, you are.
But, Logan, you are. (Both of you)
But, Miranda, you are.
But, Connor, you are.
And I can go on.

And this is high school...
Will it last?

Or will my family leave me?

I continue to worry
As time passes.

I think and think and think
AND I CAN'T FUCKINGNG TAKE IT ANY LONGER!!!!
----


I wonder what will happen.
When all of this ends.
Because my real family are
The ones who kept me here
And kept me sane.

And let me reach past everything that
Ate at me,
Burned me,
Killed me slowly
And rotted me from the inside out.

What will happen.

Will I move on,
Or will the suspense keep building.
1.4k · May 2013
Reject
The New Kestrel May 2013
I never knew
of the lies,
the stories,
or the actions that meant nothing.
Never knew
how they would affect me.

I never thought
about how mistreated,
degraded I was.
I was told things about myself.
I never thought
that they might not be true.

I never acted
on the people that
made my life Hell.
Mostly myself.
Too much is expected of me.
I never acted as though
I was real.

Never again.

Never again will I
lie to myself.
About myself.
Nor will I accept lies from others.

Never again will I
Refuse to think of
my own well being.
Nor will I be ignored by others.

Never again will I
sit by and watch
while this Hell tortures me.
Nor will I feel that pain again.

Never again will I
think of myself as a lesser being.
For I am whole.
Not a fraction of
what I should be.
I am one.
One who knows.
One who will stand for myself.
And for those like me.

Here's to the **REJECTS
1.4k · Sep 2013
Two Days Before...
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
I never wrote about it.
I don't like to remember.
And few people know.

But I want people to know the story.
---------------------------------------


I was depressed.
My dad and his sexism towards me,
My moms screams over every little thing.
Everything seemed to be turned against me.

I wanted to end it all.

Death by asphyxiation.

Tying a bandanna tightly around my neck
And going to sleep.

I was sure it would work.
I tied it pretty tightly and all I had to do
Was finish tying the knot.
Three times.
So I couldn't back out.
I almost got to the second loop,
And I heard the beep.

I never read the text.
I just responded with
What I thought was accurate.

And, without my permission,
The knots untied.

And your name was the only thing I saw.

I liked you before then,
But after that, I knew I would grow to love you.
Something told you to text me right then.
Whether it be a selfish reason, or an instinct,
You saved my life.

And now you're a big part of it.
And I hope to the God I don't believe in
That it will, stay that way.
1.4k · Mar 2013
Blame
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
So,
Apparently I'm to blame?
He broke apart your friendship
After you dated him.
Because it was awkward.
Not because I told him to.

Apparently I'm to blame?
He wanted a break from your *******
After you broke up with him for the second time
Because you were a ***** to him.
Not because I encouraged him to.

Apparently I'm to blame?
You were told lies and overreacted
After you found out you were a manipulative *****
Because someone like you told you so.
Not because I had a hand in it.

That was months ago.
And,
Now,
You want to hear my side?

It's too late, *****.
You messed up.
Not me.
1.2k · Apr 2013
Blood
The New Kestrel Apr 2013
My blood is
Red
Purple
Blue
Green
Yellow
Orange
Red.
My blood is red.
I wish for something else,
Maybe
Magenta
Lavender
Sky
Hell, even tangerine,
But no.
My blood is red.
Just like everyone else.
1.2k · Aug 2013
Summertime Hot Chocolate
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
Chocolate is the best medicine.
And its amazing when it makes you warm and fuzzy inside.
Hot chocolate.

On a burning summer day, you cant seem to handle the delicacy,
But it is still possible to get the same feeling.

All you need is someone to be there.
1.2k · Jul 2013
Paranoia
The New Kestrel Jul 2013
iwishiwasdeadsoicouldntthinkanymore
1.2k · Aug 2013
Theatrical Love
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
Now,
My only wish is to prove to you
How much emotion my heart can hold.
Show you that I think you
Are beautiful
In every sense of the word.

And I love looking into your eyes,
My darling.
1.2k · Apr 2013
Tongue
The New Kestrel Apr 2013
Some times
I wish I spoke in
In a different tongue.
So no one understands the words.
So I could be as outrageous as I want to be.
So people would think me kind, but I am cursing them
For being the opposite of what they think of me.
So no one would bother me about homework.

So I could be alone.

I don't know why I wish this,
But I do.
Maybe so I can think.
Speak
Be
Only what I want to.
And only when I want to.

I don't mean to wish for isolation,
But I do.
1.2k · Aug 2013
Gunshot
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
I wake up, and the first thing I hear is

*Thunder.
1.1k · Aug 2013
Intuition
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
Knowing and thinking are two different things.

I didn't think I should love you.
I knew.

It was all intuition.
A vision of what it would be like to be happy for once.
And logic played no part.
Poetic Challenge
1.1k · Sep 2013
Sketch
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
In every drawing, every sketch, every line made with a pencil.
There are pictures hidden.
An emotion left behind.
An imprint.

Every **** at my screen forms a letter, making up the words you are reading now.
And every tap of my fingernail is some sort of song I have in my head.

Everything has a meaning. Even if you don't know it.
A math equation: 17t =.5+14(t+.25)
17 means something to someone. An anniversary.
.25: A quarter. Maybe dinner for a homeless man.

Everything has meaning.

I drew a tree on my page. And that symbolizes the ways I've grown.
Ways I've changed, matured.
And also the beauty and grace of just simply
Standing tall.

Every seam on my dress was designed by someone.
I am wearing an idea.
And that idea could've been someone's pride and joy.
The career they dreamed of and finally achieved.

You never know.

Every stroke of chalk, oil, paint, is an emotion.
I would stab a canvas with a pencil lead thin brush
And it would make a star.
So simple, so beautiful, but what if my head, my heart, my body, was trembling with anger.
Or fear.
Or sadness.
A white rose is beautiful, you'd give it to your lover.
But did you know it symbolizes death?
It's peaceful nature and delicate scent, it's bright light, it's bright color.

It makes me cry every time.
Because somehow, when whoever created that symbol or came up with the idea,
They wanted to die. And they most likely did.
So then, why do people wear black at funerals?

The color is the opposite of death. If you count the white rose.
It symbolizes rebirth.

Living in the hearts of those who actually showed up to mourn you.
While others might have skipped because its just too sad or,
Maybe, they're happy. And they wore yellow that day instead.

Read between the lines. Between the creases.
Between the fingers of someone I used to know,
There were scars.

Who looked at the side of someone's finger?
No one. They were hidden.

She was hurt, but she wore pink.
And her scars were pink as well.
New, like a baby's skin. And what if it was? If it was a baby's skin,
Her way of rebirthing herself into the world and find her new soul,
Her new knowledge?

Read between the lines.
Because she had them in her toes, too.
1.1k · Mar 2013
Rust
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
A new car.
A new necklace.
A new belt buckle.
All begin to rust.
When using them,
touching them,
the grime rubs off,
leaving spots on once
only lightly scarred skin.
What if the rust and grime
Soaks in?
running through one's
blood stream,
like an Olympic sprinter.
Flowing, casually,
Through limbs,
To the brain.
What if that
makes a difference?
I think  it makes
my writing pointless.
Leaves me with no inspiration.
Maybe, Maybe, Maybe.
That's what it means to be...
*RUSTY
1.1k · Sep 2013
Geranium
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
This lump in my throat
Jumps. Almost as if it wants
To say something.
I did not know what it is.
I feel I need to measure some sort
Of emotion, but what it is...
And it scares me.
I feel the vultures and crow
Just waiting for the right moment.
I should feel warm.

I am alive right?
Because you can see me, can't you?

You are my Geranium.
1.0k · Aug 2013
Chance
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
I'll be waiting for a second chance.
A way to correct my mistakes.
And a way to make it up to you,
Isis, Gaia.
Mother Earth.
I have counted the days
That you have been kind to me.
Calmed me or Enlightened me.
Gave me the knowledge I needed
To make it through.
Thank you,
Goddess.
You have showed me,
But I still await my rebirth.

I will not reach it in this lifetime.
But in my next, I will
Reach, Achieve
Enlightenment.
1.0k · Aug 2013
Voice
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
I wish I had a voice
That could enchant
Every pair of ears
That ever heard me.

I would sing forever.
Listening to some music that I wish I could actually sing to... I'm envious of Tori Amos...
1.0k · Aug 2013
Evil
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
youalwaystrickmeintosmiling
Inspired by my boyfriend. alias: That Parkour Kid.
992 · Jul 2013
Situation
The New Kestrel Jul 2013
stopitstopitstopiticanthandlethissituationanymore
947 · Sep 2013
Pointless
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
I'll never use this... Why does it matter if I know it, if I do we'll in this class.
I don't like numbers. I am an artist. I like colors.
I can speak and I can write.
And I can draw the things that hide in people's nightmares.
I have no use for the history of the world.
Because I am one of the many that will make new history.

I don't care if I fail in this part of my life.
Because I will succeed in another.
And no one will stop me.
943 · Feb 2013
Longing
The New Kestrel Feb 2013
I am empty.
The void inside
Fills to the brim,
Overflows with things
I have lost.
My rationality.

These words tell my story.
The one I cant tell.
The colors I see,
Auras.
The beings I see,
Shadows.

Not one person
Feels the same.
I am proof.
Fear, Sadness,
The longing
To be normal.

Leave me be,
Or I will go
Insane.
Constant distraction.
Falling apart.
Drifting away.

Slowly.
Gently.
Slipping
Into the darkness
That consumes my mind.
Fighting for one last breath.

How do I fight myself?
940 · Mar 2013
Fading
The New Kestrel Mar 2013
I sneak a peak
And I fade.
In a daze
I think of
Possibilities.
Is it possible?
Am I not alone?
But, then again,
It's too light.
You are fading.
Not much longer
Before you forget
You ever saw them.
I am alone,
After all.
932 · Dec 2012
Acceptance
The New Kestrel Dec 2012
In what world am I accepted?
I am my own being,
Capable of defending my introvert pride.
In what world am I not accepted?
I enjoy strange things,
Such as a dark room enjoys the rare flicker of light.
In what world am I accepted?
I only have one answer, but nothing but a theory shows  through it.
I belong nowhere.
931 · Jan 2013
People Are People
The New Kestrel Jan 2013
The thing I hate,
Is people who think that they are:
all that and a bag of chips,
a chip off of the old block,
the center of the universe.

What about us?
We are the people who:
care about others,
make the good decisions,
give advice.

I need fairness.
Can't people just:
agree to disagree,
keep their thoughts to themselves,
try a little taste of kindness?

No

Because people will be people.

And people ****.
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
Whats the difference?
Besides an extreme pleasure coming from below...
There's squeaky springs, And some like it.
Two or more people are involved (The more, the merrier)!
At least mostof the time. I guess you could be alone...

There is a lot of sweat and going up and down...
Up... and down...
Up... and down
Forcefully...
Heh, you're imagining now aren't you!?
If you are, then this worked, but I'm not done...

The screams and tricks you can do.
So many fun tricks!
Ones that make you feel like you're flying
Or maybe make you bump your head and begin to moan.

And then your stomach drops and you feel the rush.
The high point.
A certain ******. if you will.

So really, what is the difference between *** and trampolines?
Other than an ****** of course...
My first attempt at a humorous poem. And i bet the title got your attention...
918 · Aug 2013
Things Just happen
The New Kestrel Aug 2013
Have you ever Just
Sat and wondered about
Random things that
Runaroundinyourmindatthespeedoflight.

Barely understandable.
But somehow the clearest explanation.
Why things happen.
Why the world is the way it is
And why life is most important.

Why the "Powers That Be"
Seem to take over peoples lives and
Cloud them from reality.

Why people are consumed by lust
And constantly feed their desires.
Hungrily.

Why healing wounds itch and
Get scratched open again.
Bleeding invisibly.

Why government agencies lie to the people
And gets its citizens killed.
Leaving the rest ignorant and begging.


These things just, sometimes, happen.

And sometimes life's a *****.
899 · Sep 2013
Hug Me, I Am Crying
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
I've tried so hard not to breakdown this past week,
Not around my peers, my friends, my love.
But I failed.

I broke because my math teacher asked how I was doing.
She meant the assignment, but the words still got to me.
I really need someone to hold me and tell me it'll be okay.
891 · Jan 2013
Speech
The New Kestrel Jan 2013
The voices of my peers echo
As either a comedy or a drama is spoken.
Tears of the audience
Either come from laughter or sadness,
Emotions felt be the stories told
By my peers on stage.

Tales of soldiers or ******,
Talking animals or mad hatters,
Different tones being used
For each character's profile.
The difficulty of keeping a straight face
When acting as though you suffer
From Multiple Personality Disorder.

As the tale concludes,
Clapping and whistles erupt
From the audience.
The judges take their notes,
Scribbling their views on the show.

The suspense of waiting
For the scoreboard to claim
The first place Speaker.
Poetic,
Dramatic,
Comedic
Representations of stories,
Are difficult to judge.
But, of course,
The best will rise
And claim the satisfaction
Of applause by the viewers.

The only thing left
To do now, is
Wait for the next competition,
Next Saturday.
I got extremely bored at speech practice because I arrived early.
891 · Apr 2013
Light Switch
The New Kestrel Apr 2013
Once a world void of color,
Empty.
Dark.
Lonely.
Turned bright.
Full of color,
But still
Empty.
Dark.
Lonely.

Only stillness lived
In the world full of color.
Once
Void of color.
Until
One minute passed.
A soft whistle,
A chill,

And blackness.

A buzz.
A flash.

Colorless.

The light switch broke.
I can't fix it,
But you can.
883 · Sep 2013
I Can List, Too.
The New Kestrel Sep 2013
The veins in your hands,
The strong structure of your body.
Eyes that have haunted my dreams for months.

The same pair of sweatpants every day,
That somehow completes you.
And the random stares that make my stomach drop.

The low voice you use when we are close,
And the shaky whispers when we are alone.

The colors you radiate are brilliant.
And the energy you give sends shivers down my spine.

The smell that lingers  on the clothing you lend me,
And the strength that gives me during the day.

Your strong arms around me when I fall asleep.

Did I ever tell you that I can hear you?
Faintly, but one time I could remember.
No dream, just a voice.

And I tried to say it back,
But my voice caught in my throat.

And it was then that I knew,
We'd be that way forever.
Or at least a very long time.



The bright, squinty eyed, smile when
You're having fun,
Or when a friend says something perverted.
And the laugh that is contagious.

Your annoyance when I wear heels,
And your in insistence that I am indeed a gamer.
Even if it is a joke.
Your ability to stay strong even if life kicks you where it counts.
And your determination to save people,
Help everyone you can,
Before saving yourself.

I could go on for eternity.
But, and I will steal your line,
I need something to write about later, right?
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