the anonymity
of our crowded cafe glances
grows stale
sitting in my memory

forgive
my hesitation
the crack
of my rusted smile
the escape
of my gasp
It has been a while
I'd almost forgotten
how to laugh

you are in love with a girl
and you think she is beautiful
you remind her everyday

you want her for yourself
but she has shadows
and they chase

her smile is empty
though you think
it's her prettiest curve

And her veins
they run with blood
she hates it -you've observed

you are in love with a girl
but she has nothing to offer
she despises herself, there is no heart to rob her

She's no
Fragile
*******
Flower

She'll plant
Seeds
in
sanity

And grow
Through
Telepathic
Psychopathy

Passed
the
past
too rough
for diamonds

What didn't **** her
made her outpower
her ego

And she sent her soul
To cocktease
my cognitive construct
in haunting hallucinations

The girl next door
frantically feeling me up
via shared consciousness

She
suppressed
this obsession
So she's always
locked in my mind
like a ***** secret

She holds
the key
like a
cuckold

constricting roots
to hold me down
to Earth
with
no
release

She's
a wild
*******
flower

she asked me specifically,
"do you have feelings for him?"
i laughed and said no.
he probably sees me as a daughter,
nothing more.
but, when i went to sleep that night,
i dreamt of him.
some of it was physical,
but, most of it was just us
talking.

talking about physics and
laughing at jokes and then
him accidentally touching my thigh
when laughing and then me looking
up at him, giving him that knowing look
saying, "i want you, all of you."
and then we just... kiss.

i think the sweetest part of the dream
was the moment before our lips touched.
the heat between us, the smile that slipped onto his
lips and the way i leaned to my right.
you could sense the hesitation, but you could
feel the complete desire emanating from the both of us.

i remember waking up that saturday morning.
i touched my lips and still felt the warmth there.
the dream felt so real. and maybe one day it will be.
but, is that what i really want?

i remember him giving me advice:
when i find someone i love, remember to double check and see if he is the one you want to wake up next to in the morning and live the rest of your life with.
i remember picturing mike... not him.
but, mike always be my first love. the one true love that i really could
never ever reach.

i guess since i have to ask if he is what i really want, means that i don't.
i guess i just... i just don't really even know.

i am tired of being
scared to fight for
what i want, but i
am too tired of
being rejected
to fight for
you.

Lying here
Nothing makes me happier
Than having you snuggled close
Falling asleep on my chest