Every day
EVERY
DAY

My day
embodies
insanity

I go to sleep
thinking
(hoping, wishing
promising?
{lying}
hoping)

That tomorrow
(today)
I'll be better

I'll be different

My days will start
with coffee
(only coffee)

I will skip the
vices
that call to me

That tell me
you want this
(you need us)

We will not let you
survive
without us

You must
You
must

Imbibe

You chose us

And now
there is no
escape

Welcome to
your
life.

This is your choice.

you cant exactly see my
scars.
theyre thin white lines
across my wrist.
barely even visible.
but, the tanner i become
the more visible they
are.

they are the stories of my
desperation.
the lies i listened to.
the thoughts inside of
my head.
the fear
the hate
the love
they are my heart
ripped open over and
over again till more and
more blood pours.

these thin white lines
are me even when i
dont want them to be.

i wish i could give him
a close up.

You tell me that
You've been hurting yourself again.
Well.
I'm glad you told me
But I've never been this angry at you before.
I loved your anger
When your friend told you she cut herself.
You're such a hypocrite
And then you say
I'm sorry
But you're not
You're so obviously not
Because you've told me
That sorry is not only an apology
But a promise that the thing apologized for
Will not happen again.
I wish you were sorry
I love you
And I think you can get past this
But I thought you already were
You've told me that you were.
And now you say it's my fault that your pain
Hurts me?
Your life is not your own
I've told you that before
And you seemed to agree
But now I wonder if you cared at all about
Our deeper conversations.
I don't choose to love you.
I will love you no matter what
Even though you seem to be turning your back on my pain
Pain that you brought about
That you have no need to bring.
I have told you that I am always here for you
But you don't listen
I swear I will be your shoulder to cry on
Whenever you need.
But what it seems like you're saying now
Is that I'm less helpful than pain.
Less comforting than hurting yourself.
I can't believe you would resort to that
Without calling me once.