It's too cloudy tonight, to see the sky,
and in this dark I want to die.
And oh my god that voice is back,
pointing out all that I lack.
Why on earth am I still here?
I've had no purpose for nigh on a year.

I don't want to remember, I just can't seem to forget,
every single moment, right from the offset.
That look in your eyes, made me feel so bad,
you were beautiful when jealous and now it's just sad.
Every word said on that night, still echoes in mind,
and try as I might, I can't leave it behind.
So a distraction was needed, and perhaps that wrong,
but I remember too much, from your voice to that song.

How can I miss, a girl I don't know?
How can you reap, seeds you don't sow?
I don't know her any more, I can't feel like this
Come on, my boy, you crave that kiss
I gave it a shot, it failed, it died
How can you know if you haven't tried?

Play the game, come on, get on the ball
I tried, I played, and I lost it all
Another chance, come on, you still think she's hot
Alright, one last go, I'll it a shot

The id wins, every time
Shut up Id, this is my rhyme

If my youth was wasted, I don't care,
It wasn't wasted, you were there,
Gone are the days, I was a teen,
Time has passed, I've lost my sheen,
But memories, they stick around,
wherever hope can still be found,
I'm glad I spent, my time with you,
These words will stay, forever true.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions,
so maybe this is just my retribution,
but I wasn't the one who gave up and broke our promises,
and now I know that there is no solution.

I loved, and I lost, so now I pay the cost,
and this is it.

I want to go back, to when I was gorgeous to you
When you thought I was kind, protective, and loving too
When you said I was perfect, and everything you wanted
Back to the days before I was haunted
by the ghosts of the past, and promises broken
and by all of the words that once were spoken.
I want to go back, to the days when I mattered
Back to the days, before my heart shattered.

Eleven eleven. A me and you.
My constant wish, could perhaps come true.

After it all, the one thing I know,
it that soon it'll be, my time to go.
To leave behind this world of pain,
and never have to feel again.
No more cuts that sting or tears that flood,
no more smiling at, the fresh drawn blood.
But all along, the one thing I knew,
was that once I'm gone, I'll just miss you.

Perhaps my dear, it really is you,
with those beautiful eyes, of startling blue,
and if that's the truth, then this is the end,
there's no more room, to make rules bend

I finally found the words, but I found them far too late,
I guess I can't avoid, that cruel, cruel thing called fate.
I've wanted to tell you for longer than I can recall,
But now I've missed my chance, I can't tell you it at all.
So I'll scream into my pillow, scream till my face is blue,
Screaming all the words, I wish I could be whispering to you.
But it's too late, I messed up, missed my chance,
No more future for the two of us, but at least we had that dance.

I love her enough, to pretend that I don't,
I want to do something, but I know that I won't.
I'll just sit here and pretend, that it's all okay,
because if I did tell her, she'd not care anyway

I didn't even get, a real goodbye
So I'll spend forever just wondering why.
Why I was never good enough for you
Why you weren't happy when it was just us two
Why wasn't I worth a goodbye?
Why wasn't I worth another try?

It seems my words are never right,
though I try to explain with all my might,
that you my dear are so perfect,
how could you not know you worth it?

**** me now, the voice is back
A moment of pain, and all fades to black

What good is a poet, when there are no words to find?
No words to say, how your beauty's refined.
What good are poems, when I can't say how I feel?
Can't tell you the feelings, that I conceal.

Yet today was amazing, I had so much fun.
On this beautiful day, spent with you in the sun.

No matter what it is I tell you, you just reply okay
I'm not trying to get angry, but that's all you ever say
I start each conversation, and it's like you try to end it
I waste every moment, 'cause it's time you won't commit

If you've found some one else, I hope he brings out your smile
Because I promise you won't see mine, at least not for while
You mean more to me, than even my own life
So many times you were the reason, I put down the knife

You are my perfect little angel, the best thing I've known
I guess this is my all fault, for all the love I've never shown

The sun shone through your hair
as you got lost in your book
oh with your beauty so fair
all of my love, you then took

Perfect doesn't exist, you know that right?
You'll never find perfect, try as you might...

Well except for my angel, the love of my life
The girl of my dreams, and one day my wife.
She's my girlfriend, she's perfect, and so was that day.
That one day together, perfect in every way.
She made it perfect, with a kiss and a smile.
That kind of day's what makes worthwhile.

Yes perfect exist, I know that I'm right
Because two things are more perfect then my dreams at night.

I've run out of luck,
it's just not fair.
I reach out,
and you're not there.
But just for a moment,
I had some hope.
We could just be friends,
and I could cope.
But then you left,
once again.
And now all there is,
is just more pain.

Life is a journey, a road of wonder, and pain,
shame about the destination, I'll never see you again.

What she said was so perfect but she's not you
and so I can't reply with an "I love you too"

I can't, I'm sorry, this is the end
This is the last poem, I'm going to send
I can't not now, not without you.
This is the only thing I think I can do
You won't be hearing from me again
I can't stand living, not with this pain
I'm not over you, it was a lie.
And now it seems, I'm going to die.

For a second for I forgot, but thank god I remember
there a reason out fire's now just a dying ember.
Her pretty brown eyes, they shine in the sun
she might not be good, but she's **** good fun.
I've had too many angels, I need a good sinner
the others all lost, but this one's a winner.

My poems aren't just words I wrote.
They aren't like a novel, a story or quote.
My poems are small bits of my soul.
If I deleted them, I'd not be whole.
They tell of times when my heart would sting,
and the times it was made to sing.
My poems are memories, immortalized,
gone over again, and analyzed.
They're a measure of me, of my life, my heart,
and the closest I get, to creating art.

I know you are gone, you're so far away,
but I'm sat here still dreaming, of that last happy day.
I know we are victims, of what life had in store,
but I'm sat here just wishing, for at least one day more.
I miss your **** smile, it lit up the night,
I can't bring it back, though I try with my might,
you won't even reply, to my messages now,
I'd ignore you the same, but I've no idea how.

I don't want you to miss a single one of the poems I write for you,
they are so many words I left unpublished that she never even knew.
I'd written of the moment that light crashed to the floor,
and I've wrote a thousand words of her being the one I do adore.
But she's missed so many lines, and I wouldn't wish that upon you,
so for as long as I keep writing I'll keep sending you them to.

I can't fight the thoughts I've had since the start,
can't hope to ease my broken heart,
but then the voice, it calls to me,
and reminds me that, I want to be,
so far far far away from here,
so far from love and life my dear.
It'd be so easy, if I were to try,
I could do it now, just up, and die.

No *******, I was done feeling like this.
Nope not any more, no I refuse to miss.
It's not fair her eyes they shine, her voice is pure bliss.
Nope I won't, these aren't my thoughts they're his

How can I? Things have changed, I'm not him any more
I'm now strong, that boy is gone, it's something I abhor
I'm happy now, it's all so good, I simply adore
But no I can't, the voice is back, my mind is now at war.

I thought I was done, but no I'm not, this life will never change
No I can't, this can't be it, I won't let it derange.

I was hurting so bad, that I drove you away,
but I was only hurting, 'cause I tried to make you stay.
I wanted you to know, I wanted you to care,
but you had no reason to, I said it was fine if you were there.
I promised you a future, where you were by my side,
but after all I've done, I guess that I had lied.

Look promises don't always work out okay?
This one couldn't have worked out anyway
But if we broke one promise, why not break them all?
And so out of my vision, the whole world starts to fall.

And so draws to a close the most perfect day
Well at least the most perfect so far, anyway
Because yes to today was perfect and great
Yet not nearly long enough, was our date.
But I hold onto hope, for I still believe
There will come a day, when you don't have to leave

Her words fill my stomach with butterflies
there's no more beautiful sight than her wondrous eyes
I'm falling, falling so far in love
and now she's girl I'm dreaming of

I feel like, you never loved me, never cared
and now I am so very scared
that you have moved on, as I sit here
unable to move on, because of fear

The fire burns, life-giving and warm
But I prefer the all destroying storm.
Sure fire reveals with a burning red light,
but all is hidden by a stormy grey night.
Fire breaths light into a lifeless earth
and people crowd round a nice warm hearth,
but the storm covers the tracks left in the snow
and leaves the wolf cub free to go.

I want to live, before I die,
I want to stay, I have to try,
because when, I go
the one thing, I know
is all won't be well,
when I sit there in hell,
and you are so far above.

I always let you know, that you were mine.
But all I ever really wanted, was to be yours

Fake a smile, 'life is great'
I'm totally not, full of hate
For how much I've failed, how much I've lost
I fell in love, I guess this is the cost.

So I fake a smile, pretend I'm fine
Stop thinking about, when you were mine
and I was happy, and I had you
with your **** laugh, and eyes so blue...

But now I sit, and think of us
And work out how my life adjusts
To lack of love, of angels, of you
I've no idea what I'm going to do

The kind of eyes that abate my fears,
The sweetest voice, I've heard in years,
The kind of good I used to doubt,
The good that I can't live without,
The kind of nice I thought was gone,
In a world that seems to have moved on,
The kind of happy that can't be true,
But somehow is, when I'm with you.

I'm sorry my dear that I've gone away
But surely you knew I wouldn't stay
Because you never loved me
and I loved you you see
and it hurt to think about you and him
and it hurt that you cast me out on a whim
So I'm not sorry that I've gone away
because you never wanted me to stay

This isn't even a real poem
More just a goodbye
Bye my sweetheart, my angel, my love
You were the image of perfection
my perfect little angel
and now I am over you
I burned all my feelings in that flame
every single memory is now in ashes
and I am over you, I don't feel the same
For the first time I am happy now,
for the first time since you said goodbye.
I am over you, you have him
I am making you choose him over me
but I will never stop loving you
and you will always be my perfect little angel.
Just one to whom, I've said goodbye.

Oh they know nothing, that's plain to see
Oh they know nothing, of what it's like to be me
They know nothing of these thoughts in my head
They know nothing of how, I wish to be dead
of how I dream, of bloodshed, of ****** of winning
of how different I am, then I was when beginning.

And don't let them, not in my head
Why bother them, with my hopes of being dead?
Better to keep them, and have no-one know
then have my great weakness, out there on show
That'll remain secret, even after goodbye
to be buried with me, on the day that I die

My best friend looked to me and said,
“I’m not a writer, I’m an author. Writers write, authors create.”
and if that’s true, then I’m a writer, not a poet.
I don’t create the poems, your beauty does.
...I just write them down.

Do you remember that night under the stars and moon,
such a great time, but it ended far too soon.
Cause I remember that kiss, short, soft and sweet,
with the prettiest girl, that I ever did meet.

Do you remember how, it all came to an end,
cause I'm struggling here, just to be your friend.
You were mine, I was yours, I didn't need more
But now she's gone, that sweet girl I adore.

Goodnight dear friend, if that I can say,
though I hope you're more, perhaps some day.
But yes goodnight, and sleep so well,
and I'll keep this a secret, never to tell.

I broke my promise, and you know why
I can't sit here, just wanting to die
I just needed, a moment of release
just one moment, to be at peace.
I broke my promise, my promise to you
but I don't care, because neither do you.

I always saw everything in black and white,
Never had to doubt if it was wrong or right,
But then along you came,  all acting so cute,
Causing an attraction I couldn't refute.
It's wrong to feel this and to want so much,
But right now baby I'm craving your touch.
Just for the summer, just a little fling,
Just a couple of dates, but here's the thing,
I think I want more, like a chance at forever,
But it's just for the summer, then after that never

In retrospect I should have lied,
left her alone till my heart died.
But we all know, I'm not that strong,
I couldn't help it, though it was wrong.

Now things are so different, from the start,
and I here I sit,and curse my heart.

Waves of sleep roll over me
Take me from the world I see
Sleep slowly steals me away
From your words upon this day
Oh my love, I hate to go
I don't want to sleep, just so you know
I love you now, and will tomorrow
and leaving you, fills me with sorrow
but know I do not go by choice
Tiredness steals me from your voice

You'll be back in a month, that's like 31 days
It will be like over 700 hours without the sun's rays
Over 44000 minutes, spent all alone
More than 250,000 seconds of life in dull tone
But it's only a month, and you're worth wait
But I'll be thinking always, of our very next date

You know what?
I can't believe my luck, 'cause it's getting late
and I'm talking to her and everything is great
and we're laughing.

And it never even occurred to me,
but maybe this is how things should be.

So far away,
and it's been such a while,
but I can't but smile,
I could do this.

It's not what I wanted but it's not so bad
and for the first time in a while I am actually glad.