I watched a movie once that related Love to oxygen.
It was at that instance I realized something.
I’ve spent too many years inhaling and exhaling such a fragile and pure concept.
And for once I want to suffocate at the thought of a healthy heart.

I wanted to discontinue the second notion of my lungs.
Because breathing out never sounded so strenuous.

When I saw you, I couldn’t help but gather the atmosphere around me and hold it in.
My better half held it’s hand over my mouth.
But for once I didn’t panic.
The thought of your presence crept in and eased my pain.

At times I feel like I have reoccurring moments.
Like certain circumstances have been lined up for me and you’re my humidifier, aiding my existence.

A kiss.
My lips gather upon yours.
And it is at that time, I can resupply my body with life.
It is at that time, I always understand why he referenced oxygen when speaking about Love.

So when I grow older, I don’t want a breathing tube shoved down my throat.
I just want you there, holding my hand.

It was her final letter,
The last love letter before
Her death. He held his breath; sat
Down in a chair, stared slowly

At the pink envelope held
Between warm fingers and thumbs.
He sniffed along the rim for
Any perfume she may have

Left for him; some hint that she
Had held it long before she
Posted; none was there. He slit
Along the top, opened up,

Took out the folded letter
With care, her sweet perfume hit
The air. He then unfolded
The paper and set it straight.

Her writing; that way she had
Of twirling her first letters,
The fine hand, the perfect word.
He read slowly through, taking

Each word in his mind, turning
It over, letting each word
Pour out its purpose, its sense,
Its love. He read a sentence,

One that took his breath away,
Which made him ache. “That last time
You held me and kissed me in
L.A, made me feel wanted,

So alive, so real. I love
You so much, and cannot wait
Until next week when we can
Seek each other out, and kiss

And love until our throbbing
Hearts give out.”  Her final words
Came after, “Love you always,”
And her scribble name above

A row of cross like kisses.
It’s hurtful what one loves best,
He mused, what one most misses.

My life is like a puzzle
everyone has a piece of me
some of me here, some of me there
as i'm sitting in my cell, trying to piece back my life
i want to scream and yell
songs are going through my mind
reminging me of the good times
then i start to remember the bad
my emotions become deranged
i look out the window feeling like i'm going insane
i pace back and forth slowly
deciding if i should get on my knees to pray
for the lack of misery trapped inside my brain
causing this mental pain
but instead i want to sit here and write to you,
to tell you my hopes and dreams
i know will never come true
you used to tell me, i could always come and talk to you ..

Monster

There's a monster in my home
With a soul as black as death
He's lurking somewhere nearby
Waiting with baited breath

He'll jump out and attack me
When things don't go just right
He's waiting for just the moment
He wants to start a fight

This monster I know from childhood
Although his face has changed
And yet I let him in again
Am I the one deranged?

This monster hid it well this time
A devil in disguise
Until he reared his ugly head
It was too late when I got wise.

And now I'm stuck here in this house
He'll never let me get away
This monster thinks I owe him
A debt I can never repay.

I slowly descend into hopelessness
Wishing the day would come
When I could go away from here
And find my hearts true home

The monster lives off my pain you see
Built a wall I can never get through
The saddest thing is you'll never believe
The monster with me is YOU

Leave me,
Like a
     ruined book
          collecting dust.
   Abandon me,
Like a steel mill
       consumed
  by rust.

Tell me about
    Tomorrow,
As if it were
       Today.
And I'll try to find
    Acceptance,
In the things
  I cannot change.