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The Butterfly Mar 2014
You are driven by a force way stronger than a gail
I prefer to move at the speed of a snail.
You charge into a space with no regard
which only makes me want to hide and guard.
You over power my senses
making me put up fences.
How should I relax and be at peace
when you can't seem to cease.
But something draws me time and time again
to your unrelenting grip on my heart
even though I know it's not very smart
I can't be without you ever again.
The Butterfly Apr 2014
Standing up, dusting off, pulling free
All she wanted was for you to see.
You had so much love to give
but you held back and wouldn't live.
All you talked about was getting out
with no mind to what she was about.
You had so much in common
but you never knew....
Why did it have to be so hard?
Why so scared and so marred?
She poured out every last drop
as if it could make you stop.
Giving you every ounce
as if it even counts.
But you needed a savior,
and she had lost all favor.
She had a glimpse of what used to be
and oh how she missed it desperately.
There are no more chips left on the table...
The Butterfly Feb 2014
This tug of war is tearing at my heart
I don't know where you end and where I start.
you take and take, leaving me blank
can't you tell you're making me drown?
you criticize my coping as fake
but could you even try to fix my frown?
you take every situation and make it about you
do you even see what you do?
like a prey running from the hunter
I fall down and all I do is wonder.
would you even care if you spill my blood?
you came and devoured me like a flood.
I'm all hung out to dry on constant display
while you wallow in your next forte
slicing me into tiny pieces
of which no one will ever recognize.
I am all spilled out.
Be sure to taste your words well before you spit them out.
The Butterfly Mar 2014
Pressing and pushing me up against a wall
it's all I can do to catch my breath.
Scared to death of a sudden stall
what would I be if you really left?
I dream of easy going
with our love just flowing.
Struggles and fights are all there seems to be
between the you of you and me.
Why can't we just love without the struggle?
What if you decide I'm not worth the trouble?
The Butterfly Apr 2014
When you think you're all alone,
don't let your heart turn to stone.
Keep and open heart
let nothing keep you apart.
It's scary to be so close,
not sure of what you want the most.
But you have to love to be loved,
and held as close as a glove.
Go  to where love finds you
and be the love to him too!
Be what you seek.
The Butterfly Apr 2014
You cry wolf as if in danger
But in reality it’s just your anger.
Fearful of what you cannot see
Without regard to what happens to me.
Did you take a minute to see me crying
Or how you left me here completely dying?
So go ahead and run with your fear
Fill your belly with that beer.
For one day you will know you lost
The one thing that left me in the frost.
The only thing that I had left
Was the sound that left me deaf.
The Butterfly Mar 2014
You say it's all you need
but would you just stop and read
all the signals I constantly send?
My heart is in need of a mend
but you never seem to bend.
Is it always about you and yours?
When did this love become such a chore?
I seem to lose my vision
when I let you push with your decision.
All I can see is the yellow caution
but you just speed to full throttle.
What will become of us
when all that's left is your dust?
Somehow this car has got to turn around.
Go
The Butterfly Apr 2014
Go
I used to chase you back
I used to feel the lack
but now I know you must go
I know you want to let go
if holding tighter could make you stay
then I would do it day after day
but you're already out the door
and I know you don't want to be here anymore
so go ahead and leave me here
some how I will learn to stay clear
someday I will be whole again
some how I will love again.
I just can't
The Butterfly Jun 2014
I used to be able to control
what was exciting and what was dull.
Then you where hit by life
and the everyday daily strife.
If I could go back and remove that day
when you looked at him that way,
it might have saved you some pain
but the lessons learned are all gain.
You loved from the very start,
you always love with all your heart.
We don't always get to know the reason
some people are only for a season.
Don't let it force you to give up
try letting life fill your cup
don't look for the easy way out
that's not what life is about
take hold of your dreams.
Don't ever settle for what just seems.
Dig deep inside
and never hide.
Never forget who you are
for you have always been our star.
From the first thought of you in that dress
we knew you would always be
our little mess!
The Butterfly Mar 2014
You are a constant reminder of the pain
all the guilt and all the shame.
Why would you think it would ever be the same
after you played your little game?
Are you looking for a reason to leave?
Your heart is completely deceived.
All the reasons and excuses you send
will only make you the loser in the end.
Truer love has not ever been made
and all you want to do is throw it away.
*Nobody can make you feel guilty unless you already are.*
The Butterfly Mar 2014
You can't seem to be anything but paranoid,
and I can't seem to be anything but annoyed.
All I wanted to do is take your hand,
be beside you while I stand.
But you took us down to a place
where we lost our minds and our space.
To a place that I can't even hear you calling,
where I am continually falling.
You're yelling the words I want to hear,
how you'll love me and hold me dear.
But I can't decipher the code,
of all the signs that continue to bode.
Of  the doom I feel eating me alive
even though I struggle and I strive
to keep my sanity at bay
just to hear the words, "I'll stay.."
Why is this so hard?
The Butterfly Feb 2014
Pushing me into a corner
towering me as if you're my owner.
Crushing me with your presence
causing self imposed penance.
How should I cope
when all I can do is mope?
I know what you say maybe true
but do you even have a clue?
The pressure maybe too great
please tell me it's not too late.
Are we past the point of no return?
The Butterfly Feb 2014
Like the waves you pound me.
Like the sound you deafen me.
Like Stephen you mock me.
Like a lock you hold me.
Like a mold you break me.
Like a make you brand me.
Like a hand you grab me.
The Butterfly Mar 2014
What more do you want?
You took more than you ought.
You say you have issues with trust,
I think it's more to do with lust.
What will you do when you can't have your way?
Will you even bother to stay?
You say you can't trust anyone
but what about the one that has come undone?
You took everything that was given
leaving nothing behind but what needs forgiven.
Just for you to prove the truth
loosing everything especially youth...
When all you have is lost and never to be recovered....
The Butterfly Apr 2014
When the mind is full of fear
the heart can not see clear.
and vise versa
When the heart feels nothing but fear
the mind can not see clear.
Only true love can displace fear...
The Butterfly Mar 2014
When I say I'm having trouble breathing,
why do you start talking about leaving?
When I spin out of control,
why can't you try to console?
When I hit the floor on my side,
why do you run and hide?
All I need is for you to catch my fall,
but now it seems all you can do is slam me into a wall.
I keep trying to catch my breath,
while you smother me to death.
The Butterfly Mar 2014
Like an elephant behind a wall
I feel so small.
Like a bird in a cage
is this coming of age.
Our love was so full of life
Now so full of strife.
Why can't I just get away
All I want with you is to stay.
Will we ever be able to proceed
with everything we dream?
What if this is just a waste of time
and I just get left behind?
Forever waiting for the love
that they say only comes from above.
But you are my everything
nothing else is even worth comparing.
Nothing compares to you..
The Butterfly Oct 2014
When needed the most
you were no where around....

why cant you just see
its your hand that I need

not you condemnation
or intimidation.
The Butterfly Apr 2014
She hoped to be held up by you,
She hoped you could be that glue.
She tried so hard to take your hand
as you sank further into the sand.
But the weight drug her down
dragging her ripping her gown.
Try as she might
all that was left was fright.
Then came the fears
and fights left with tears.
Now she is numb
can't even hear her heart's drum.
Of how it still beats for you
and how you still love her too.
Oh heart please beat, send the blood to get rid of the numbness!
The Butterfly Mar 2014
Trying to make it happen
is only making it dampen.
The fulfilled look of love has drained away
left with only a look of disdain.
You should have known you could only push so far
before you tore from heaven the star.
You hung it there with such care
but ripped it down without as much as one last stare.
Climb back up and reposition the moon
and please, please do it soon.
Before what was so preciously made
is just left to wither away.
The Butterfly Apr 2014
Oh anxiety how you have a grip on me..
Trying to control what I can't even see.
Reaching and grabbing
Yet all that's left is stabbing
Causing wounds that might not heal,
because hearts are turning to steel.
As I plummet to the ground
drowning never to be found.
Hopeless and so depressed
feelings that can't be suppressed.
Weighed down with the garbage
I have to unload the baggage.
I want to take hold of the door
and see what could possibly be in store.
Will it be alone?
The Butterfly Mar 2014
Stand up for yourself stand up
don't give up, never give up.
Don't let him walk and even stomp
once he begins he will never stop.
He constantly takes
leaving you awake.
Never to get rest
tearing your nest.
Didn't you take the time to build it?
Did you not seal it
with the love you made?
Never once did he come to your aid.
Please preserve yourself
The Butterfly Mar 2014
There are so many things that seem not to be real
Like the things that you say and the things that I feel.
But if I had to do it all again
I would still do it times ten!
If I could change just one thing
I would have said yes in the spring.
If I had to do it over
I would have done it much slower.
If I could get you to love more
all the way to my core.
There you would find
the secrets to my mind.
The Butterfly Mar 2014
I don't want you to try and change me
wasn't I what you wanted before it was you and me?
Why do you feel the need to constantly push
was I somehow going the wrong direction before the push?
Never have I doubted myself more
than now that I am with you more.
Am I that lost and confused that you feel the need to abuse?
How could I have missed all the signs of the abuse?
Why can't I just be me and that be enough for you and me?
Didn't you say you loved me?
*Trying something new while still dizzy and confused.*
The Butterfly Apr 2014
When sorry means nothing love is not true.
For if you loved, you would not let me be broken by you.
How many pieces will you rip my heart to,
As you carelessly shred every ounce of my love for you?
You say you're sorry and you will change.
But it's like a never ending game.
I can't hold on for dear life
As you stab me with your knife.
Each fight is draining more of me away
Until I know there will be nothing left of me to stay.
Why do you do what you do?
It's only selfishness to you.
But you can never say I did not try
Because I loved you even with your lie.
Just stop already
The Butterfly Apr 2014
You wonder why love runs cold?
There is only so much hurt one heart can hold.
You have this unattainable expectation
That continues to be approach with hesitation.
The death of love will be your insecurities
And your constant accusations of ambiguities
How will the love last you say
When you are forced to go away?
Why is it never enough?
Why do you seek all the fluff?
When you fly off the handle
All it does is blow out the candle.
It's overwhelming at best
I truely hope there is something left.
It's hard to turn back a heart of stone...
The Butterfly Apr 2014
I just want to hear the music so loud
taking me to a place above the cloud.
To a place that I haven't been in so long,
That place that I felt that I belong.
When all that mattered was what you wore
and what the night might have in store.
Where the beat moved me
as if in waves of the sea.
Where everything revolved around black
oh please take me back...
Sometimes I miss it so much
The Butterfly May 2014
Spiting words out like daggers,
as she trips, walking with a stagger.
All dizzy with confusion,
falling down filling with contusions.
Blood pooling under her eyes,
from all the tears falling as she dies.
Little by little she's draining away,
with not much left to make her stay.
If she could taste the words wisely,
maybe then she could live finally.
But all the anxiousness
leaves a pit of deceptiveness
that can't seem to be shaken
leaving her empty and vacant...
The Butterfly Feb 2014
Your grip on me is strong
Your gaze on me is long.
Without you I'm in a daze.
Wondering around like I'm in an unending maze.
Never to find my way.
With you I come alive
as if I could survive the dive
to a depth beyond the deepest level
even though I know you are the devil.
The Butterfly Apr 2014
She entered in with great hesitation,
Carefully stepping with trepidation.
As the whirlwind spun her around,
She could feel her feet leaving the ground.
It seemed as if time was standing still,
As she dangled from that window seal.
The air grasping her holding her to a spell,
Continuing to tarry the deeper she fell.
Once she stopped to survey the damage
It took all she had to breathe and manage.
She was drained from every pore,
Bleeding out all over the floor.
Rushing to mop up the mess,
She started dissolving into nothingness.
Begging and pleading for someone to hear
That all she wanted was to be held dear.
But her cries fell on deaf ears…
As she cleaned up every speck of blood
Her heart was now dripping with mud.
Tears could never clear up
the stains on that broken tea cup.
When she noticed how she was shattered
She decided she could no longer help the tattered.
For they would have to find solace on their own,
Because she was now crushed to the bone.
She’s been told that broken bones heal stronger
And that maybe next time love will last longer.
But that doesn’t help the hurt felt now
Or the brokenness in her smile.
This is for the glue that I hope will be you...
The Butterfly Feb 2014
Exhausted for days
dodging your rays.
Stabbing  me like daggers
all I can manage is a stagger.
You promised to catch my fall,
but you're the one knocking down the wall.
All I want is to rest,
is it possible you are my best?
Go ahead and knock down my chair,
I might as well be just thin air.
I just want to breath
The Butterfly Mar 2014
Just like too much anesthesia
he has an effect that causes amnesia.
The hardest thing is standing by
watching him make you die.
With disappointment at every turn
I see your heart yearn.
Longing to be held and adored,
with all the love I know you have stored.
Get past your own worry
or you will lose her in a hurry.
Your end will be your ego
if you are not forced first with a veto.
Step up boy...
The Butterfly Feb 2014
Where do I end and you begin?
All that I am is because of you.
It's not fair of me to put this weight on you.
But I can't tell where I end and you begin.
I am gasping for air as well my love.
Why
The Butterfly Mar 2014
Why
How is it that you still get to me underneath
after all this time we have had beneath?
Deep down low I have buried
all the emotions that constantly vary.
Irritating me to my core
making my entire soul sore.
Why does it have to be this way
with every ounce of what you say?
The Butterfly Mar 2014
It started off so very romantic
but like a sad story it's becoming tragic.
Turning the love that was made
into *** that will fade.
You're being pushed away
but what's really being tested is if you will stay.
Head keeps spinning all the day long
and I can't seem to stop singing this song
Choices are made day after day
will you dance or walk away?
Please don't walk away...
The Butterfly Mar 2014
Far away I feel I have traveled
to this place I seem to have unraveled.
Further and further I seem to drift
into a state of mind that's only a myth.
The things that held me together
have become nothing, as if just a feather.
I look around for the glue
that held me together, which was you.
Feeling lost and unraveled...

— The End —