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 Apr 2013 Tessa F
bob
With my heart gone,
Tis' time to wait for sharks.
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
bob
As I'm sinking into the sea,
                                                                          blood engulfs me;
                                                                                                                                     *endlessly.
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
bob
Yours Truly.
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
bob
Everything is so dull.
Looking around, on the sea floor;
Although there isn't much but darkness.

Fortunately, Darkness, you're my friend now.
We've come face to face countless times,
And your brother Death has become close, too.
We're a nice family, a trio.

Although, being a synesthesian, the darkness is
Even darker when certain things flow past.
It's as if I can predict what's to come,
What's in store for me,
In my fate.

Death and Darkness, aren't much of a threat
Anymore.
Although I do fear Death considerably.
Darkness, however, could be my best friend.
I've never had a best friend,
But you're seemingly always here for me.
It's sort of inevitable,
Our little congregation I mean.
Because there are always shadows.

Although it seems I've become like you,
Darkness.
And Death?
You're not being left out, don't worry.
You can relish in your methods later,
I can't avoid it.
For now though,
Let me suffer
Because you will be the one to save me,
As you have many times before.

Then, and only then, will God end my story;
Wherever that may be.
Yes, I'm a synesthesian.
Yes, I've had countless near-death situations.
Yes, I'm always depressed.
In the dark is where I reside. Although, ironically, I'm afraid of the dark.
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
bob
Lost (10w)
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
bob
I don't know what to do anymore,
It's time to...
in salt
water
tears

stuck
on
you

ocean
ocean
ocean
to trip, from trip
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
DieingEmbers
You see me

yet I cannot see myself


without...



you.
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
T
Only Sometimes
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
T
Sometimes I wish
that holding hands was enough
for both of us;
I wish I didn't need more talking
and rarely
I wish you didn't want more "walking";
I like walking
I just wish that we talked more

Sometimes I wish
you hadn't made
all those friends;
I liked when I was your world,
actually, I was so much your world
that I didn't like it;
funny

Sometimes I wish
that it didn't seem like
you need my friend to come too,
because I guess me being part of 'us' isn't enough
sorry
Maybe if you weren't always with him
we wouldn't need another girl for "balance"
He doesn't want to third wheel?
Neither do I

Sometimes I wish
that I was stronger;
So that silly things
like my wishes
didn't make me feel this way

..But only sometimes...
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
Q
Starstruck
 Apr 2013 Tessa F
Q
I can't tell you how much I'm hurting
To acknowledge my pain is weakness
To share my weakness is pathetic
But I hurt, oh, I hurt

I can't tell you how much I want you to love me
Because to say it would be to jinx it
And to jinx it would be to lose you
But, by god, I wish you loved me

I can't explain how much I depend on you
Because to explain would be to trust you
And to trust you would be to make me vulnerable
But I depend on you. I really do.

I can't tell you all the little things I want you to say
Because to tell you would be to make them unoriginal
And to make them unoriginal would be to make them unsatisfactory
But I wish you would coddle me and tell me those things

I can't tell you how much I want to be yours
Because to tell you would be to give you power over me
And to give you the power would be to give you my leash
But I wish I could, and you would own me.

I can't tell you how twisted I am
Because to tell you would be to make you notice
And to make you notice would be to disgust you
But I wish you'd accept me

I can't tell you
I'm sorry for that
You've given me your trust
But I can't give it back

I can't explain
So I'll apologize
I simply don't want to be
Pathetic in your eyes

I can't confide
And I'll always feel remorse
But if I were to lose you
I'd feel much worse

I can't be who you wish me to be
So I'll keep who I really am
Under lock and key
I'll chain up my personality
So, ideally you'll see
The person you can't help but love

That person that leaves you starstruck

I'll hold back all I am
Because I am not your ideal
And your ideals are above me
So I can't let myself be real

I've shunned who I am
Because of who you are
I am bitter and angry
But you'll never see my scars

I want to let you closer
I want to try my luck
But deep down I know
I'm not who leaves you *starstruck
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