parallels and cycles
i am your cycle
soft motion of the tongue
then; gone
and you hear me
an afternoon where you own me
i took your collarbone
and swallowed your chest
hid beneath my teeth
kissing years on each eyelid
the entire time
saying;
farewell. i mean it
now.

come be my crutch
darling
lay me down
or lie beneath
and sleep
swimming
in anger's defeat
while we
drown
in a soulless song
knowing this is
what it feels
like to
grieve

my grandmother
once held my hand
many nights,
she would explain
the process of loving
and i would simply nod my head
to justify
the heartbreak i've always felt
as a young child

my father
once held my neck
against the bathroom wall
possibly in his anger
possibly in this love
and told me that
i looked ugly when i frowned
and i would simply nod my head
to cancel out the sound
that came from him
(smile)

my mother
lost a lot
at a young age


and you
you bring all the
blood line memories
back
with your reckless love
that has truly wrecked me, love
now why you'd go ahead and do that?

i'd like to move past
what time has stood still
for me
and turn my head
to your weak demands
of denial
and thoughtless pounding
on my chest
it hasan't broken yet
but it's bound to
if i stick around you
and i'm ******* stuck on you
just like the others
line 'em up
1, 2
i don't want to be the third
but darlin, i'm infinity
when it comes to loving



(you)

i want calm
not to be
just another number
for her to call
when she is feeling
alone
but i allowed that
so pay the consequence
of allowing yourself
not to make sense
and when will i
hold myself accountable
for letting in
what is not healthy?
for what is not kind?
for what is not right?

these days
i'm not afraid
cautious, rather
maybe you could even call me timid
because i learned not to love hard
not to waste excuses on what's not given
falling through the cracks
of a lie, of the living
i may as well be dead to you
so we could create a rhythm
with our apologies intertwined
on our tongues, split in mind
we'll never progress
darlin
we're just stalling the momentum.