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 May 2012 Tearani C
Sean Kassab
This writer’s block is heavy; it sits on my chest and becomes my test for the taking, pressing my emotions to the point of breaking. Ever taking, ever testing a man’s will to take quill in hand and fight the parchment in a battle of pen strokes, curves and lines. This stalemate enemy in my shattered time holds the battle line and controls the destitute thoughts, controls the ideas I brought to bear. Tear them free from the grasp of this, my enemy, and scatter them lightly across the pages, creating symphonies without a sound in an arrangement of profound rages. They are rambles, rants and raves and nothing more, with no winner, no loser, and no settled score. There’s nothing to be won. Yet here I sit, nervously undone with uncertain hands that shake, for what came so easy to me was so easy to break. So thoughts may move in circles, to occupy the wandering mind for mercy’s sake, to shake the tree and make fall the fruit thought to be lost, thought to be beyond cost, that which was free under the skies. Because the ability to sing of heroes, of villains, of love and of lies was never mine to have, it belonged instead to my soul. A thing once made whole, once broken, that when stirred is outspoken, and bleeds across the lonely paper dolls to wander freely in the halls of lost dreams. Covered in the dust of forgotten themes that seemed brilliant once, though never shared by the trepid heart that wouldn’t dare, for some things are better left unsaid. Unread words of dread that seem to repeat over and over, coming back from the dead to seek their exposure. And I am somewhere in the middle of it all, somewhere lost in my mind and I am enthralled, I can only watch this opera to its final verse, lay my hands across the keys and give control to this curse, like a once proud ship tied to the docks, this is what it is to have writer’s block….
 May 2012 Tearani C
Sean Kassab
If I could touch a song.

I would want it to have your face.
I would want it to touch my heart.
I would need it, my saving grace.

If I could hear a dream.

It would laugh lightly with shining eyes.
Running feilds of gold and crimson.
Running thoughts, in a racing mind.

If I could taste a miracle.

It would sweetly linger on my lips.
Sugar and forbidden fruit.
In the passion of a longing kiss.

If I could see eternity.

It would end in strawberry hair.
Emerald gems that stare at stars.
Skin so light, skin so fair.

And if I could sense a heart beat

It would be hidden among the roses.
The gentle red of silken petals.
The thorns, and the promise that it poses.

All these senses I have told confused.
If I could say it and be true.
But if I could write a poem.
I would want it to look like you.
 May 2012 Tearani C
Sean Kassab
Ripped apart at the seams, the pain, the screams, heavy breathing and dreams, the raven on razor blade wings. And there you dance on golden strings, the marionette of my nightmare things and all things shown to be true. And there you are, right there where I left you, and there you are, right there where I loved you.
 May 2012 Tearani C
Breanna Smith
A life the beauty of a butterfly is what you lived
Even now that you are gone I see you in the faces of those who are strangers
But for a moment they are you
The one who is a butterfly
How I wish to be in the presence of your warmth  
The reality hits my heart  
Taking the blood from my body
I feel cold after those moments
When the blood returns
So do the tears to my eyes
They fall for you the fallen butterfly
Who's wings where crushed so shortly
After you where no longer in your cocoon,
No longer a caterpillar but the most beautiful of butterfly's.

There are those who wounder about your little caterpillars
But I know you who had the life the beauty of a butterfly
Will watch over them from your place beside our
Heavenly Father for he has given you
Even more gorgeous wings
They are those of an angel.  

-Dedicated in loving memory of Michelle
 Apr 2012 Tearani C
Jill Anderson
I sit there thinking,
Just thinking.
Wishing and wondering
If the water could wash it all away.

I sit there thinking
Maybe, just maybe
If I sit there long enough
Scrub my body hard enough
It'll wash it all away.

I wonder if I can
Watch all the hurt, pain and sadness
Circle the drain.
Watch it be all washed away.

I sit there
Day after day
Hoping and wishing maybe today
Or maybe even tomorrow
I can wash all the hurt
The pain
The sadness
The fear
Far far away.
I can say who I am
It is simple to just say my name
People tend to just judge me
Yet they still don't know Christopher
They don't know the pain how lonely I am
They don't know the insecurities I keep
People must get to know me
Instead they are too quick to judge
How can you say you know me
When you never got to speak to me
I know who I am
I am someone you can't manage
Someone you are afraid to love
Someone you may never know
 Apr 2012 Tearani C
Lily Mayfield
The late night phone calls
The random sweet texts
Watch who falls
Into loves great depths

We smile like it's nothing
We speak as one
Together we have something
Who's going to run

Together we can walk
But all we do is talk

I know we feel the same way
If we keep this bottled up
One will surely stray

We can't ever let it end
But I can't keep you as just a friend

I can feel you near
I can see into your heart
Listen up my dear
We don't want to part

A story more beautiful than a dove
This story can't have an ending
This is love
So why are we pretending
Written on March 29, 2012
 Apr 2012 Tearani C
Orville
Behind the twinkle of your gaze
Past the walls you so fervently constructed
At times,
I see your pain
I feel the anguish in your eyes
The quivering of your lip quickly forced away by a misplaced grin
Surrounded by the emptiness of this void we call life
I wish nothing more than to hear those alluring three words
The glow you radiate envelopes any room
Your smile casts any doubt I have in life
How can someone be so incredible?
I am the lucky one
You show how utterly beautiful life can be
That this existence is not some random succession of meaningless events
With you,
life takes shape
life retains hope

Life has meaning.
My mother enters the kitchen, says that her hands
are dripping, begs my father to finish his work
at the sink.  I observe, for a moment, the expression
upon her face which seems conflicted between
a desire to laugh and a need
                                               to feel clean.
I interject that clearly her fate is to have
dog placenta on her hands for all eternity.
Her disgust and amusement seem equally to rise.
After she has washed herself, she speaks of
Ponyo's last intermission between long
intervals of birthing to nap three fleeting minutes;
another contraction gave way to a wriggling
new mole who squeaked and groaned with
bizarre endearment, seizing my heart and causing
its mother's head, after jolting awake,
                                                          ­     to go limp.
Mom says it's sad-but-sweet.  Dear dog
has spent herself six times already in increments
which, as they increase, draw her spirit still closer
to a totally inevitable chasm of fled energy;
as soon as she falls asleep, yet a new indignant mass
of living parts swaddled in loose skin and wet fur
shoves its way outward, forward, world-ward.
Ponyo is not selfish.  Immediately after birth seven,
she begins to lick her offspring clean and nudge it
towards her belly, where it may feed itself.
"Only just got a break, and already she's
                                                           ­         back to work."
I'm one of five children my mother has carried
and raised--and for a human, five are many!
I'm afraid to give birth even once, despite
that a greater want of mine is to hold
my own child someday.  I wonder if that
is motherhood: discomfort and indecision
concerning the worth of the effort in labor,
in birth, in the weak moments thereafter--
stroking one's child's downy, collapsible head
and feeling a need to protect her, to nurture her,
that is more pressing even than the so-
alluring whispers which Sleep may breathe--
and even beyond these moments, when I have said
to my mother that I hate her (because
to me, it was obvious that I did not,
and was too callous, obtuse, and insensitive
to think that she might just believe it)
and then missed church the next day to stay
with her when she felt ill and tired--if this
is motherhood, I wonder.  It must be more even
than I could ever have thought like wanting
to laugh and to wring one's hands
(and even just to go to sleep)
                                                all at once.
© K.E. Parks, 2012
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