It only takes a moment to fall
Into a black pit, a deep darkness
To find yourself
Broken and bleeding

You see a shadow
Pacing back and forth
You realize it was they
Who gave you this demise

You cry out, not knowing why
They would give you aid
A light flickers on their features
And you see yourself

But in your face you see
Your own despicable side
So your heart also plunges
Into that hole

The echoes your plea creates
Bring an overwhelming change
It comes over them
And a shadow seems to leave

Eyes turn, no longer dark
Hands throw down a rope
You pull yourself up
And help yourself home

It only takes a moment to fall
Yet only another
To fix the broken
Restoring all that seemed wrong.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)

I screamed at the sky
Begging for the battle to end
So I could rest, and find a home
For I have fought for many years
Yet still I walk alone

But as soon as the words had left my mouth
I knew what I asked
Was not a wish that would come true
And in this moment I should not desire it to
Though I do endeavor
To see it come and make me new

For though I long for home and peace
That is not what my lot is
I must battle on my land
But not do it only for the end
But also for the honor I hold
And the call I have been given

For the fight is a call much higher and greater
Than just to rest in temporary feeling

This revelation made it harder and nearly broke my heart
But then my eyes fell on some words, written long ago
They spoke of the great desire
Of each man's heart
For home, for rest, for love
And I was overwhelmed; for I knew I had never been alone

My beating heart is not the only one
In what it yearns
This knowledge made me a able to stand
The battle now more bearable
For though it shatters the bones and pierces the flesh
Is there not a greater glory?

For men do not write tales of those who sat
And rested in the quiet
But pen tales of those who raged
Against all that would surely destroy them
So I will fight for many, many years

I believe someday my call will change
My battle will end, I will rest
But should I fight only for that end
I would fight in vain
So I fight for the honor, the subtle joy
That comes in the present struggle.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)

A saw a picture of a child
Sleeping peacefully
And thought to myself
Oh how to be that son

But then I had another thought
And it surprised me so
For I did not want to return to when
Life was calm and stress was low

For though there is more difficulty
When the years start to add up
There is a certain beauty
In living a life complex, with intricacy.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)

I am a creature of sorrow
And my heart is surely downfallen
But that does not mean
That I am falling apart

Is this true?
I wonder often
And cannot find an answer.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)

Lonely joy is the only cup
I drink from
I search and seek
And come up empty

I wonder why
I have not been granted
What I so seek

Someone to give love
Unconditionally
Who joys to see me
Consistently
And not just
Infrequently

Who seeks me company
Who wants to know
And understand
And care

I have given up hope
That my search will yield results
A small hope flourishes briefly in my soul
But then it is gone

And I think
That is the hardest part
To hope and have it die
For I feel a divide
Between those around
And myself

And I am confused
I don't want to act
But be
Genuine
And that to be evident.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)

I am so sick of the game
Being the bigger man
I have had enough
And I am over
The pressure to pretend
And lie
To act like I love to be drained dry
To smile though my ache
When just more pain is all I see

I am
Supposed to be kind
And deal with this all in stride
But I have no desire to

For why do I
Have to be the one to step up?
I have not desire to open this door with you
Or to deal with more

Life was fine
I already had enough stress
But please, add yours
Ask for more
For I am overflowing
From the few drops I have left

Please, use me
And then drop me
Again
That's my favorite part

I don't understand why
This is the exact opposite
Of what I want
Another time.

(theinkthatspeasks.blogspot.com)

My wounds are bleeding
But still I pour salt in them
Why do I continue this way?

I am past the point of healing
Without ugly scars
I think

But right now
I would settle for just
The smallest bit of relief
From my aching body
Would be a welcome gift

There is something that
Keeps me at the knife
That threatens to take my life
I cannot break it's bind
On my own

I am not all alone
My only problem is
My voice grows small
When I want to call
Out for the help I so desperately need
My pride stops me

But my small heart
Beats on
At least for now.

(theinkthatspeaks.blogspot.com)