Pardon my silence. I've been gifting my words to one soul, and one soul alone. I'm incapable of the same magic for any other, and won't curse you all with failed attempts.

Still making the same mistakes.

The sloppy rain slips and slides down the fogged-up windows,
and this lets me know that I am not as small as I think I am.
In a city of three million plus, I feel like the soul of a nation,
even though I'm just a twenty-one year-old piece of plastic, drinking a hipster beer.

The waitress has frizzy hair and oily skin.
She's holding in late-night infomercials and missed ballet recitals, behind her words.
She looks at my luggage and asks where I came from or where I'm going,
and I tell her that the fun thing is that I have no idea where I'm going --
and that I still haven't decided where I've came from.

This city allows new-found anonymity, and I want that to be my cause.
With each passing glance, I know they don't see me, and, to me, that's the slumber-kissed throat-slit I've always dreamt of...

...the streets play music that I only hear -- and I know that's not fair, but I don't care.

And the homeless represent the bowels of the city.
And the businessmen are the ghost-filled engine.
And the middle class is the defense-mechanism I always wanted for Christmas.
And I am the empty delusion, desperately seeking a new pollution.

This ones for you.
Remember that night you had the dream I died? You called me crying at 4am. I told you I loved you and I'm still here.
Remember that first kiss? I planned it for months and it surprised me even still.
Remember the first night sleeping next to me? I had never felt so safe with someone.
Remember when we talked about the future and stared at the ceiling for hours? The future ended to fast.  
Remember when you kissed me and told me it was just distance? That was the last time.
Remember when you took my heart and told me that's it? Can I have it back it's been months.
Well I remember sitting here dreaming about you everyday wondering if you are okay or how your doing. Still sitting with this hoodie on.
I hope life is going good.
This ones for you.