i think you say things
to explain the chains
around your thoughts
that constantly tend to tighten
around your neck.

to find a reason
for pouring love into him
even though he poisons you
with only hate.

to make sense of how
you still feel his hands on you
searching for the way you
will never feel.

to see if what you feel
will just disappear
because you can't bear
to feel it.

i don't say much.

*t.m.v

how could I be so naive
to think that you were invested
in every last word I spoke?
pulses of pain hit my heart
with lies and
empty apologies.

how could I look at you,
the only thing I believed in,
and not see an intruder?
rumors fill my ears,
telling me stories of your
"I'm sorry."

how could you say you
love me, but
burn every bridge to dust?

tell me.

*t.m.v

a slow itch exposes
old wounds
bound together by weak strings.
intoxicating thoughts
consume me with no hesitation.

without you things go
hazy.

*t.m.v

you secretly read this
waiting for reassurance,
but without cause.

time crawls away
leaving no trace of tenderness
or any raw innervation.

please leave,
for I am tired.
I am tired.

*t.m.v

I cannot hold you
like I do my alcohol,
but I can let go
like the smoke escaping your lips.

you are just ash
drowning in a sea of regret
with no place to call home.

*t.m.v