Plunging under the surface,
Swallowing water I won't cough up.
Choking underneath.
The sun beams down onto the surface,
It smiles at me, the most brilliant smile.
"I'm ready."
Reflections flicker like quick flashes of pictures
Of myself as a small child,
Carving pumpkins on the kitchen floor with my mother.
Snorting and laughing,
"Mommy, you're so funny!"
This is all I can think of.
The trees look down on me, disappointed, I can see it.
They wave goodbye to me in the warm summer breeze,
So full of life.
"I'm ready."
The pain in my chest is slowly disappearing.
My head is full of endless possibilities, but no remorse.
I'm surrounded by a glimmer, circling my body.
It's so happy, it's dancing for me.
"I'm ready."
And I can't see anymore,
I am just left with my final thoughts.
But I know in my soul,
It will be beautiful, wherever it is.
Whenever I get there, sooner or later.
A blast of sun shining through my broken spirit.
**"I'm ready."