Once dreamt of a comfortable life
I would've taken the easy path
Chasing glory was paramount
Fearful-avoidant attachment
I lived on a different pocket
With a collected wisdom
Gathered from experience
I still chose to depart and not see you grow
A state i mistook for permanence

Awkward in my dependence
Lacking voice to ask direction
Or the courage to ask for help
Essential humility is ill fitting
Church ain't out till they quit singing

I stand stoic in hesitation
Feeling strange in the role of change
Time slowly turned the page
The change I fear
So hard, so cruel
Win a war yet take the blame

Changing partners, changing clothes
Too late upon closer inspection
Can't dish it but I can't take it
I just wanna be better
But I guess that's not allowed
In a world where people take hope
And turn it to doubt
Tell me I'll be the same
'Til I'm dead in the ground.

The solution to cure my greed
Illuminated exactly what I need
I'm the one with needs

Here’s to a better tomorrow,
And a mentally taxing present
If only I could afford to behave
Everyone's proud with flowers in my grave

But when I get told what I'm not supposed to say
Do you expect me to make a change?
How can I give an answer if it's something I can't explain?
When I've paid my sentence, then can I go out and play?

It seems to me
The more things change
The more they stay the same
I wonder how the rules evolve
But we keep at the same game
And though tired at competing
We're addicted to the bother
For when we lose we need to prove
And when we win we need another
And though we're all exhausted
We're spurred on by the lives
And I feel I've lived a million lies
And tried a million tries

Essential humility is ill fitting
Church ain't out till they quit singing