I will step out of the car  . My eyes searching patiently around , looking for the face i have forgotten long ago, along with the memory of you ever being in my life . I will only find one . you will be standing near your car looking at me . I have yet to conjure up in my mind  what your face will look like . Sometimes i see you crying tears of joy , sometimes its remorse , maybe even  anger  but in this meeting i see your face as .... blank . Then i will take that awkward walk towards you probably holding in my breath counting the steps i take just to keep my brain occupied , so i wont have to look at the face that has remained a question mark in my head for 17 years .  We will meet somewhere in the middle . I will smile , you will smile neither of us having anything to say ,  because we both know how many years have passed between us and that our relationship has always been left never seeming to go right . So dad , if you are out there reading this , What happens next ? you tell me because i don't know , the vision always stops here . With you and i meeting somewhere in the middle of nowhere .