Shellac looks real pretty
It’s also tough and gritty
But when it’s chipped and ******
You have to again dive into your kitty
Which is a pity

You can’t just whip it off
For that varnish is ****** tough
It’s made of very strong stuff
And a chisel ain’t enough
Which is rough

It requires professional help
Heavy duty acid to make it melt
Then they scrape it off which is hell
Every chunk when it’s peeled can be felt
Which makes you yelp

So you pay them to put it on
And you wear it a while which is fun
But when you’re finally done
You must pay again to make it gone
Which is a con

So enough of shellac have I had
For the expense is driving me mad
Never again will I succumb to this fad
Unless a lottery win do I have
Which is sad

It’s a waste of tinfoil after all
To have your mitts so adorned
You could almost plug them into a wall
And power the entire street from dusk til dawn
Which could cause a fireball

Then you’d be totally fried
And have no need for shellac which once tried
Is so addictive it bleeds your bank dry
Until you wake up and see the light
Which is right

Traditional nail polish is best
Though the fumes do play hell with your chest
And it don’t last as long as the rest
But at least it’s not much to invest
Which is the test

So I’m sodding the shellac
Giving gels the sack
To basics I’m going back
Using the old laq
Which is cheaper, albeit crap

And that is that.