Today I was taking a shower
and my arm started to sting.
That sting.
The sting I didn't even realize I remembered.
Until I did.
And when I did, oh how that made me feel.
Being bombarded with oh so many memories of
escape and freedom
And control.

Today, I was taking a shower
And my arm started to sting.
This familiar sting that I knew all to well
and all I could do was stare at this tiny, tiny cut.
Like a pink line of perfection,
if that makes sense.
It brought with it not only a slight pain that I am all too familiar with.
But, also the memories of watching my blood mix with the water into a pretty pink
Swirl down the drain.

Today, I was taking a shower
and my arm started to sting.
Bringing with it the need to feel that sting
constantly.
Like in the past years.
Needing to have some sense of control.
Needing to feel a pain that I knew better than
my own face.
Needing to slice my arm.
Not into ribbons,
but how about laces?

Today, I was taking a shower
And my arm started to sting.
And that scares me.
The feeling of wanting to grab the sharpest thing I could find
and add my pretty in pink lines
across my mocha skin.
Right along with the older ones.
Not caring who see's them
and not caring about the
Consequences.
Only caring about the release it would provide.
Release and a high.
A high that makes me higher than smoking **** ever could.

Today, I was taking a shower
And my arm,
My arm started to sting.