before
during the rains
cascades thundered
relentless
even without obvious clouds
distant weather systems
fed the tributaries of anger and insult
capacity endlessly breached


substrate delicately formed over time by layered injury
the dam holds firm
for the most part
every so often, words seep through
coursing gently down the lee side
sobbing

a welling up occurs less often now
barely cresting
only when the pain returns
memories then tumble over
free falling in a riot of muted grey
streaming

so explains
an evolution of tears

@journeyofdays

after the storm
when your life path is altered
and you stub your toe
on unexpected gems
you know
you were led there
to find them

@journeyofdays

death doesn’t scare me anymore
there are worse things

empty has no hope
deserts are formation
breath is shallow
cold is paralysing, heat without relief
utter exhaustion

death doesn’t scare me anymore
there are worse things

empty has no hope
eddies progress in formations across the ground
scratching around in the earth
rivulets of dust fan out across the surface
grinding and polishing the soul

death doesn’t scare me anymore
there are worse things

empty has no hope
profound nothing
only pain makes this real
but it is fleeting and empty seeps back in
there is no self-worth

death doesn’t scare me anymore
there are worse things

this lesson has been hard
it has been lonely
the empty has been necessary
there is no point lower
now the ground is stable

death doesn’t scare me anymore
there are worse things

empty has no hope
tumbling through a wash cycle of dust
and nothing
I have already died
been to my own funeral
mourned my passing, grieved for months
walked through a valley of half-life in shadow
and have come out the other-side

deserts are lessons
and I am not scared anymore

@journeyofdays

PTSD PTSInjury   #growth #lifelesson #PTSgrowth  #death #life

because of this curse I strive to be unknown
yet the very thing that will heal me
is someone knowing my name

@journeyofdays

how is possible
that you are still here with me
after what I say and what I don’t
the way I act with the fear I see
that story on loop
and the illness that grips me
how

@journeyofdays

I couldn’t breathe
my heart gave out
I lost my footing
the world went red
my brain just stopped
I entered Hell

….and It laughed while opening that door on the day I broke

@journeyofdays

window to your mind
this art that you make
journey across ordinary life
and scarred and ancient landscapes.

warrior falls
righteous rage cut short
his cause now falters
Evil dances on his demise
blighting the memory, continuing falsehoods
a chattering class of worms

truth exposed
this art that you make
document this extraordinary life
of battles fought and Evil vanquished

@journeyofdays

it is just a gift
that keeps on giving
my personalised pithos of
things wrapped up in tears
reopening stories I had put away
discovering new chapters
combining short stories into weighted tomes
pressing down my heart
with unexpected plot twists and feedback loops
that keep crashing around in my head
oppressing my wins with blinding migraines
because I tried too hard and reached too high
did too much
it is just a gift
that keeps on giving
my personalised, Pandora’s pithos of ...(fill in your preferred ending)

@journeyofdays

facing the day
with joy in my heart
knowing I can
not falling apart

walking in strength
feeling alive
living the truth
fearless...not quite


@journeyofdays

choosing to be present
submitting to time
breathing in this humility
it will not prejudice the truth
longanimity
revealing  the path to healing

@journeyofdays