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Joshua Jackson Nov 2023
Outside
Rusted swing.chain squeeks and hurls
A moment so strong it stains the world around it,
Memories vivid enough to rub off like ***** feet on carpet;
   thus ghosts are born.
Momentarily bleeding--
You were supposed to look after me...
I don't know why I replay
Those times, it's as good as picking a scab endlessly. You begged me
Not to leave you,it'd break your heart
Then broke mine until I had to leave.

That heart is on the floor,spat on
Stepped on
You are she now and she is gone --
She will come and soon after
Carries on with the same face
The exact expression
Undetectable like black *******...

(Rotten thief with your heart as black
As the the moldy growth 'tween your upper
Buck teeth...)

I'm an aching orb roaming and going home to nothing.
I only live to feel ill
I only live to feel ill now.
I only

Wish you could tell me from your perspective
When did I stop being  your babe?
But I know like most it's a pointless question
You've lied your whole life

And still- -that last time with you
I couldn't stay angry seeing your face
Almost a year on, that comfort can't be replaced

Two of us walking over frosted grass and pavements icy as the irises of opioded eyes;
hand in hand-- keep me warm until we are home together.
Walking miles alone to your's on sprained ankles
Pretending I was coming back to our unborn child.
I don't even care, I'm over it
I hope you're happy
And your life is better without me in it
Cause mine is,
*****.
Incomplete as all is until the unhappy ending we're all heading to.
I am sore everyday and it's on me to care and I don't want to care.

— The End —