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Litzytczt Sep 2019
I loved you
loved
past tense

I read in a Pinterest post that you have three loves in your lifetime
the childhood one that can be interpreted as a strong crush,
the hard one that teaches you lessons,
and the one that stays in your life forever
when I first thought if I had already had my first love,
my mind automatically flew to you

I loved you
you were my ray of sunshine
your eyes were the same color as the lake that we allow to cover our bodies in the summertime
somedays you were all that I could think of
you intoxicated my life in a way that wasn’t dangerous
every time I saw you it was another shot of capri sun that took the sugar straight in my system
at the time I did not realize it
but it was because I loved you

the first love seems harmless
and it usually is
when I realized that I had been in love it felt like a bee sting
it hurt a bit but it wasn’t too bad
I ****** it up like when I had actually gotten stung by a bee

in movies there is usually a character that falls in love and everything is lovely, luscious, and easy
but this was not that
at first I felt regret
because I had not told you about it sooner
I had said that I liked you
but I never said I loved you
because love is far stronger than like and I just thought that it was all in my head
but no
I was in love with you
for two years I saw you and instead of doing anything I only fell in love with you harder
and it seems childish
and that is why I haven’t told you
sometimes people don’t even realize that they had been in love as a child until they contemplate about it later in life
the first love introduces you to the possibilities of love in life
and trust me
I loved you

it wasn’t until the most recent time that i saw you when I realized that I loved you
when you had your arm across my shoulder I realized that I felt safer having it there
I was happy
but I saw you walk across the stage
I saw you graduate
and I saw myself moving on

I loved you
past tense

I still remember the first time I saw you
we were at orientation
and maybe you were looking at me or past me but I still remember you sitting there
still
very nervous
other people could see us getting together in the future
the fact that others could imagine us together being happy made me feel elated
I was on another planet
maybe in another planet we would have been “meant to be” in a sense

sometimes I still wonder
what would have happened if I never noticed you sitting alone at a lunch table
what would have happened if I never dared my friend to sit with you
I wanted to tag along
for some reason then
I knew that all of this was going to blossom
although if none of that had happened
we would have stayed distant strangers
now you are in my pictures,
my mom knows who you are when I retell funny stories
you even pop up in my thoughts
I love-loved you
we didn’t have to hold hands, hug, or even hang out outside of school for me to have fallen in love with you
I loved you
and while I think I got over it,
I still have thoughts of what it would have been like if you loved me too

Either way I will always remember you
As the first person that I ever loved
This is a poem about a person that I loved. I believe that once you start loving someone you cannot really stop. You just start loving them in a different way. I had not realized that I had been in love until after when I saw them moving on. Please leave any comments! :)

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