we laugh and joke about being toxic,
when really, most of us are still healing from our first heartbreak
your first heartbreak isn’t always from a girl or a boy friend
sometimes it’s from a mother,
or a father...
mine just so happened to be both.
my father broke my heart first, I never knew him...
as a little girl I would wonder,
“why hasn’t he reached out? does he not want me?”
sometimes I still do

Then it was my mother,
she chose drugs as her lover,
but deep down I knew she loved us more...
eventually something would have to give,
and it did... thank God.
hers, unintentional
but a heartbreak nonetheless.