my darling, my sunshine
you are to me
what the rain does
to wilted things.

you pour unto my cracks
scour across my hollows
and you fill them instead
with a selfless abundance of love

how fragile I was
before meeting you,

how resilient i am becoming,
in order to keep you.

i am more tree now
than weedling,

more flower
than thorn.

i am beautiful
for loving you,
and for continuing to love you.

and i know
i will be stronger
for having you by my side.

i asked you to be mine,
as a frail joke,
and you told me,
i knew the answer.
i did know the answer,
i just wanted to hear it from you,
even though i knew it would break me.
for you to want me,
but not give it to me.
it almost brought me to the brink of destruction.
how could the best person to have arrived in this gruesome life that we all lead,
be not allowed to be mine?
i tried to laugh it out,
to not be bothered by the circumstance
i am presented.
you told me to ask you again,
and i was puzzled.
why would you want to hurt me again?
but still,
i did.
and this time, you said yes.

i asked you to be mine,
and you said yes.

i will always need you
and want you.
i imagine lifetimes ago,
it was you,
and now that i've finally met you,
its still you.

and now
i’m afraid of you
of how much i love you
of how much you mean to me
because i’m afraid that you’ll get tired of me
or decide i’m too much to handle,
that you'll one day wake up and think,
i’m not worth it anymore
i’m afraid that you’ll realize
i don’t deserve you
that you can do better than settling for me
and even though i want you to be different
i’m afraid that you’ll end up like everyone else
that no matter how much i try to keep you,
i'm just not it for you.
i’m afraid that you’re the best thing to ever happen to me
and i’m so afraid of messing it up.

i finally met you,
i'm afraid of all there is about this.
i love you.

my darling,
there is nothing
i can offer
but what's inside my hollow ribs --
a paper heart filled with words
so endless,
yet
so easily burns.

only you can make someone as logical and smart as i,
believe in a futile scenario.
the probability of you,
running towards me,
giving us a chance,
is as much odds i have of being in space
during my lifetime.

you see,
i've never dreamt of being an astronaut,
or had a fleeting thought unto seeing the wonders of the galaxy.
however, that changed with you.
now, all i can think of
are all the infinite ways i can swear
the universe,
the stars and all its might,
are playing a role in this
and how i want to see what's beyond this world,
to justify how i feel like you are a wonder,
more than the moon, stars and the sun combined.

i can probably describe to you how the moon shined
so much brighter during the nights i spent up speaking to you or
i could explain to you why the stars feel like they're finally aligning,
and on the day i finally see you,
it will have aligned to lock us in an embrace
that will cause any stars and cosmos to pale in comparison
to the explosions in the sky we will produce.

the stars,
that which i mocked, saying
"i'll never believe in something predestined,"
and indeed it was something i never quite believed in,
until you.
it had to be you.

You tell me your fears,
and i tell you i'll be here.
I thought it would make me weaker than I already am
but it made me want to pick
up my
sword
and lash through
all the challenges
that might
come on our way
because I want nothing more
than to prove you wrong
and be
with you
until you ask me to go.

the heart stops for sunset
the mind during sunrise,
my soul for yours
with no measure,
just an infinite loop
to stop at your smile,
voice
and
sighs.

i might tell you,
during the small hours,
or perhaps, at midnight
when the clock strikes 12.

maybe during the day,
i'm not sure.
maybe not really,
but i could occasionally.

maybe during the afternoon,
when my mind is busy,
and you're busy.
you might not need it,
but i want to tell you anyway.

but at night,
as we are serenaded by distant white noises,
and the sound of a sleeping house,
under the influence of the nearing twilight,
i just might get romantic
and tell you that i love you.

the sun has been kind to you,
it never burns,
just shines right through your face
enough to radiate the beauty that you've always held from within.


the winds has always admired you
for they never blew you away,
just enough to breeze you in and remind you that
you will not be swayed.
everything will change and yet you will remain rooted to the ground,
resolute.

the rain has always been tender to you,
for it has never poured more than necessary
to drown you.
its always just rained enough to
to wash away your sorrow and remind you to slow down
for tomorrow is a promise of sunshine.

and i have and will always love you,
more than you'll see
and more than you'll know,
overflowing but never
overpowering.

you'll know,
you'll see.

our exchanges have been magical,
you and i.

i'd like to gather all the moments we've had so far --
even the ones we shared in silence  
and lay it out for us to be wrapped in them.
the feeling of being surrounded by even just the sound of your voice soothes me,
and that is enchanting for me.

perhaps i'm caught in a spell,
the incantation, however is nonexistent as i
simply see you for what you are
and i am truly delighted,
ecstatic,
and overflowing.

perhaps its not a trick,
not an allure,
and definitely not a spell.
perhaps its me finally falling for the magic,
the hearth,  
not the witch.

darling, crossing paths with you was like seeing fire for the first time --
ablaze and ardent and truly unprecedented.