How do I say this?
I mean I have worked hard
To be able to
I told myself I would tell
The next person to test me
But when it happened last night
My attempts were futile
I still couldn’t say it
Weakly I pushed him away
He wouldn’t stop though
His tongue was down my throat
He gripped my ***
I didn’t enjoy it
But I couldn’t bring myself
To tell him that
Others want us together
Maybe I should give it time
Let him do as he pleases
That’s what they want
They tell me he’s great in bed
Do I dare?
No.
I can’t let anything happen.
Again.
I need to fully consent
But I don’t think I could with him
He’s so strong though
If I don’t tell him
He will take my silence as consent.
Again.
How can I say it?
Do I want to?
Yes.
I do.
He isn’t who I want
But is who I’m supposed to
No one would bat an eye
If I said I was with him
Unlike with the other
For I know they would ask
He likes you?
I thought he wasn’t your type?
You gave it up, didn’t you?
Maybe I should give it up
But with who?
Do I consent to something
I’m supposed to like?
Or to what I want to try?
Do I allow something that is to come?
Or do I wait for what I want
That might not come?
Maybe I should become
That **** that they keep calling me.
I guess I’ll wait to see
If I consent.
I do really want to go for what I want but he currently isn't here. Maybe I should just go for what wants me instead.