How do I explain?
How do I explain to my mom and my dad?
How do I explain that sometimes I want to die?
I don't.
I hide it all and
Pretend that I'm okay.
How do I explain?
How do I explain to my best friend?
How do I explain why I'm not okay?
I don't.
I just pretend to laugh and
Smile through the pain.
How do I explain?
How do I explain to my therapist?
How do I explain that digging up those memories of
When I was younger
And free
Of the pain
Only makes it worse?
I don't.
I stay silent and
Stare blankly around her office.
How do I explain?
How do I explain to my sisters?
How do I explain why the spark is gone from my eyes?
I don't.
I try to hide it with my glasses and
It never works.