Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
DubJDaddy Aug 2017
By *Sevin

Aye
My poppa was a preacher but his poppa was absentee
He did the best he could
To keep his son from living fast and free
Religious rules and Christian schools
The other children laughed at me
Plus we never had much green so I never did dress fashionably
Everybody wore the same ol’ smile
But it was just a mask to me
I saw through the hypocrisy
When the pastor made a pass at me
That ******* had a class of us
He kept asking us to do nasty things
To the point I have the baddest dreams of…
Savage things attacking me
We moved away but you could say
The tragedy had a lasting reach
Blocked out any memory
Still can’t stand to hear no pastor preach
By now I’m about eleven
And I’ve learned life comes with hazards B
Sometimes I just break out in tears
A dark cloud seems to pass through me
My best friend was my blood brother
And at thirteen he died tragically
And after he passed in that car crash
I wished that that was me
I had a heart but life ripped that apart and gave me apathy
I felt God did not look after me
All I have for Him is blasphemy

The rain falls on us all
The good and the bad
Same thing that’ll make you laugh
One day well it’s gone make you sad
And now I see
I gotta walk by faith and never walk by sight no
I don’t understand Your ways
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Although it hurts sometimes

Yeah
Aye I went from good kid to a hood kid

Seemed like the change came overnight
Life cloaked him with a heart that’s frozen
Rollin’ on a stolen bike
Smoking like a chimney
With a semi sitting in that holster tight
And every other word was blood
No love for who we ‘posed to fight
Went from praying prayers like
“Lord I love You and I’ll keep you close, aight?”
To “I don’t know if You even there
Just help me not get smoked tonight”
So enticed by the thought of being loved,
I'd pay the coldest price
I done sat inside a cell for ******
Who has never even thrown the kite
Rebellin’ against the God I hate
I blamed Him for my loaded life
What made it worse I played with curses
Even though I know what’s right
I used to ask church folk why life’s so hard
But I got no advice
Or they’d just relay a bunch of clichés that don’t suffice
Depressed and half psychotic
Narcotics are my chosen vice
Consumed with idols
Suicidal by eighteen I tried more than twice

I said the rain falls on us all
Said the good and the bad
Same thing that’ll make you laugh
Today well ya know it’ll make you sad
And now I see
I gotta walk by faith and not by sight
I don’t understand Your ways
oh Lord
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Although it hurts sometimes

Aye
So bitter and so broken my soul’s soaking in misery
With no hope for the future though
Cuz I’m so focused on history (none)
Till one day someone cared enough
To share just what You did for me (what?)
I can quickly see how differently you act

From the Christians I’m witnessing
You lived this thing called love
While all of us are just so nitpicky (uh huh)
You are righteousness You gave Your life for us… literally
The thought that You’re the one I hated, sickens me (yeah!)
It’s a trip to me how quickly we fall into iniquity (I'm sorry!)
Even though I acted wickedly (what?)
You still chose to sit with me (why?)
I’m the worst one on the court Lord
But yet You still keep picking me (You do!)
And now it comes so vividly
Clear that every test and every trial
Was predestined and the outcome was Your victory
Thank you

I said the rain fall yes it does
On the good and the bad oh Lord
Same thing that’ll make us laugh
One day is gonna make us sad
And now I see by your grace
I gotta walk by faith and not by sight
Yeah I know I’ll never understand Your ways Lord
But I know you’re always right
And I surrender
I surrender
I surrender
Ohhhh yes
Written by Sevin  
H.O.G.M.O.B
DubJDaddy Nov 2015
by Sevin

(I'm sorry for the things I never done. I'm sorry for the words I never said.)

I'm so ashamed of the gospel I didn't preach.
I wrote this thing for the lost that I didn't reach.
Too busy tryin to floss, man my sin is deep.
It's so hard to bare your cross when you're in the streets.
For every time that I never told you that Christ died.
And trying to ball you've fallen victim to life's pride.
For them days when you were sick and I ain't prayed for you.
When your paper wasn't thick and I ain't paid for you.
Everyone left you in the clique and I ain't stayed for you,
Acting like a public defender instead of a paid lawyer.
For not being the example of Christ that would lead you to repentance and re-examine your life.
For gettin' high with ya, more than I'd cry with ya.
Being down to ride with you, but not die with you.
I'm sorry for everything that I left to chance.
Life's one song. We don't get no second dance.

(I'm sorry for the things I've never done.
I'm sorry for the things I've never done.
I'm sorry for the words I never said.
I'm sorry for the words I never said.)

Can you forgive me, for being self-absorbed and self-consumed?
How quickly we say we love our brother but we're selfish to 'em.
Coulda took a couple of minutes to pull you aside and share Christ with you before you got hit with them bullets and died.
****, I miss him.
And my question is, Did he die like a gangster cause I'm not living like a Christian.
Who knows if it would've made a difference at all.
The point is, I'm like a disconnected phone. I'm missin' the call.
And I'm slippin' with no discipline livin at all.
I need to quit zippin' my lips and just give'm the raw
Even if it means they don't wanna listen or kick it.
If I get hit in the jaw, at least I gave 'em the scriptures of God.
Cause I'd rather be right than be fake.
If the example is crooked, then, you won't see straight.
I don't know what it was that made the father love this ****.
I lift my hands to Him, stained with my brother's blood.

(I'm sorry for the things I've never done.
I'm sorry for the things I've never done.
I'm sorry for the words I never said.
So sorry for the words I never said.)
hogmob.com
I don't always get things right and I struggle daily but I don't want to forget to tell you that you are loved and God has something special planned just for you. You are wonderfully made!
DubJDaddy Oct 2015
by Sevin*


          I'm on a highway to heaven               but I'm stuck in hell
          So I lie there and cry away my essence, til I'm just a shell

I'm worn down and poured out, just a empty cup  
A sick man in quick sand, I'm simply stuck
               I'm feeling so small. Would it be wrong Yall ?
               To put this pistol on speed dial and make this dome call
Why can't I get a grip on my mind
I'm feeling ****** on and ******* and it's all the time
               I've lost pretty much everything a man can lose
               I've been through wars you wouldn't even put a cannon through
All this agonies enough to break a man in two
His panic room is damaged plus, he's manic too
              His soul is famished, no one handed him a can of stew
              He's allergic to beans, they gave him Spanish food
It's like life doesn't like him, it does it just to spite him
Wish I could take back my past like a busted item
              Right now I want to do anything but exists  
              Cause if I ain't in hell, tell me what is this

        I'm on a highway to heaven                but I'm stuck in hell
        So I lie there and cry away my essence, til I'm just a shell

Lost Money, lost friends even lost brothers
Lost my kids, cold heart no soft cover
              Lost love from my wife, gotta ball further
              Guess the loss of our faith made us all suffer
I talk to God, I know He's still with me
If he's hear I wonder if he'd sip this beer with me
              I don't even doubt, he'd shed a tear with me
              He knows my Bro ain't getting out till he's near 50
Sometimes I feel I'm wait'n on the same fate
He caught hell, I'm fishing with the same bait
             Get a job? I don't know them tactics
             Jump through hoops? Naw, I don't know gymnastics
I'm so tired of the madness
I know I be trip'n when I'm flip'n out, wilin' like a savage
            Life keeps piling on the sadness
            I'll never forget how it looked, when my homie was smiling in his casket

        I'm on a highway to heaven                but I'm stuck in hell
        So I lie there and cry away my essence, til I'm just a shell
This is from one of my favorite artists
He's been through a lot of pain but still manages to find his strength from our Heavenly Father.
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC1Do81JVwPaxfWhu68IbDtg or
hogmob.com

— The End —