i feel the water as it streams onto my hands
the faucet showing me my reflection in it's silver curved structure
i close my eyes
i have become unaccustomed to looking at myself
the sight of me has become unbearable now

thoughts stream into my brain
filling me with dread and anguish
my breath rapidly increasing just from thoughts alone

i turn the water temperature to the left
i feel the heat begin to rise
my flesh begins to burn
it pleads to be taken out of the lava but i leave it
all i can focus on is the heat, and it is bliss

i grew up believing scars were ugly
and self-inflicted ones even uglier
i never had a way to make the pain go away
until now, with a method that leaves no marks

the temperature is all the way up
my problems, gone
my fears, gone
my tears, gone
my hatred, gone
my longing for everything i will never be, gone

i turn the faucet off
all that's left is the pure redness in my hands that will go away in the next hour until once more i need to relieve myself from, well, myself