Tis past the season of love and cheer
Where toasts were made with wine and beer
Sad Christmas trees are stripped of glitter
And unwanted presents are displayed on twitter

Time to turn off the festive telly
Review a Christmas inflated belly
New year party celebrations
End with a list of resolutions

First day of the year, ready to go
Gym joined, going to be a boxing pro
But ten minutes in, I’m in a heap
The floor feels comfy, so I take a sleep
Okay so boxing isn’t my thing
So on to resolution No2. Learn to sing

I join the local choir, looking to go solo
But they say I sing like someone called Greta Garbo
Okay so singing isn’t my style
So onto No3, going to ice skate, freestyle
Saved the best for last, this is for me
Used to skate when I was a kid, what glee

I am nearly the star that shines
Look at my turns, how clean my lines
Ready for the leap, two and half twist, here I go
But the resulting belly flop earns a score of zero
Okay so ice skating is for the younger scene
So, onto resolution No4, Cut out caffeine

Okay, day one I’m climbing the walls
The dog is dodging flying *****
Heads pounding like hangover king
Has it really only been one hour in?
That’s enough to prove the point, Kettles on
Expresso in the cup. Resolutions done.