SOMEHOW

you blow away
my confidence

is it just me
or
does your smile
get cuter
every time
i see you?

those looks
those smirks
those laughs
those signs that you could like me

are getting me to
overthink
&
daydream
&
fantasize

and then
there's the fact
that
you have a girlfriend

and my dreams
burst
as if
they are
nothing.

and, well,
they kinda are

maybe i just
make it sound
like you do like me
because
i like
this
twisted version
more
than the truth

MAYBE & IF
i kinda hate these words

they promise hope
when there's none

they promise possibilities
which don't exist

but mostly
they make you
daydream
&
fantasize
when you want to
escape from
the truth
&
reality

sometimes i quit writing
because it kinda hurts

because i can't have
what i write

not with you

and i wonder

if 'you think (?)' about
'me too.'

if 'you feel (?)' the same
'i do.'

if 'you talk about me (?)'
the way
'i talk about you.'

i am losing my mind;

i dreamt about you

i saw you
for a split second

and i smiled
like an idiot

it’s 12am
and i’m sitting in my bed
with nothing
but my headphones on
and an idea of
you and me