and i close in on myself
in the middle of the night,
make myself small as possible
and cry, and keep crying,

and keep crying.

why can't i stop?
i had all day, i think,
all day, to cry, and keep crying
and keep crying.

but i do so now.
in the middle of the night
when i close in on myself
and open my heart up
to anybody willing to listen.

and i'll keep crying!
until the moon sets
and the sun rises,
and i go through the day
open to myself,
closed off to everyone else

humans are living fossils
the breaks and bones in their bodies
revealing a history
otherwise unknown to the world
my body and bones tell a story
that won't otherwise come from my mouth
my entire history
spelled out in the scars on my wrist
the still-red scratches on my thighs
brought to light in the darkness under my eyes
the weariness of my cracked-lipped smile
in my bony fingers and uneven nails
in the cuts that run up and down my legs
i wish this history of mine
were more appealing