Having seen much in life
The traveler sits down to rest.
He has been here and there
To places not yet known,

He has no reason to rush
Time is on his side
He has no intrest in a hasty life
This place he rests is home.

It has been nearly a life time
Since the last he saw this place,
He left it as a young lad
Eager to set forth on an adventure.

But like every life, age catches up
Now in his old years
He has found nothing is the best something
He has nothing to worry about

Nothing to push him too hard
Nothing to hold him back
Nothing to twist his mind
Nothing to promote unrest,

He is content to sit in silence
For life has been long and good to him
Here is where he'll stay,
The place he loved as a little boy.

somewhere i am sleeping i can hear
the wind across
the span of my ear a flower
is bending in it is bent
bending in the wind
it is white
its petals are
its body is
thin it's green
it's yielding very
nicely

somewhere i am sleeping i can hear

Do you ever get that tingling feeling in your skin?
Where you need to take a blade to your skin to make it stop?
Does your head ever get cloudy?
To the point where you don't know what's right and what's wrong?
Do you ever want to take your own life?
By hanging by a leather belt?
By swallowing sleeping pills?
By slicing your wrists?
Do you ever just want to be gone?

Oh four letter word, little four letter word

Why are you so much trouble?

You get inside us

Into the air we breathe

You are more infectious than the common cold

And as un-treatable as an addiction to oxygen

You are the easiest thing and most basic thing we look for,

and yet you are the hardest to find

Or are you?

Are you hard to find,

Or we blind?

Are you a disease, an addiction

Or are you the cure?

Are you inside us,

Or are we inside you?

Are you trouble,

Or are we?

Are you a feeling

Or the space between where we do things not because they are good for us

But because they are good for them

Him

Her

A feeling, or the space between

Or are you the thing that made us

That formed us

That made the world broken

Because we cannot experience love if we are not broken, not really

Love

Are you God?

For my "Big Brother".*
Love Always, *****.

You said it was adorable
The way my hair curled
around the hollows of my neck
Brushing across my skin
like a
n o o s e

You said my looks could shatter glass,
that my repugnant features
would SURELY guarantee a life of solitude
You loved to point out my flaws
And how my laugh was too late
breathing too loud
walking too fast

The shallow scars on my wrists
were alluring to you
you encouraged me to make more
and I loved the kiss of cold metal just a little too much
and
you
loved
that
I
loved
it.

You said you understood me
my thoughts were dark and scattered
I wasn't always able to share them with you
But I didn't need to
you already
"u n d e r s t o o d"

my dark companion
the only one I ever trusted
We fought our demons together
Dragging the other to hell as well

You wasted no time in telling me
what a waste I was
of skin
of space
and I wasted no time in  b e l i e v i n g  you

You would hold me in your arms
and whisper bittersweet nothings
compliments with a hard slap attached
convincing me I was far more flawed than I am.

We fought like rabid wolves
growling,
hissing,
howling,
circling,
nipping at my ankles,
you'd force me to f a l l.

tearing and ripping apart flesh
with words
and my feeble palms
left angry red marks on your chest and face
but my struggle only made you more eager

Every tear that fell from my face
gave you life
every sob that came from my throat
gave you a voice
you could not stand alone
you said
y o u  c o u l d   n o t   l i v e   w i t h o u t   m e

You said I didn't understand you
that I could never comprehend the torment YOU
were experiencing
I was FAR too dull to see.

It wasn't until I realized
I didn't need to play your childish games
I didn't need you
or your "passionate, intense" heart.

Once I stopped hitting back
your blows became harder

Not worthy of love.

Not worthy of life.

Not worthy of existence.

And I believed you.
I trusted you.

E n d   i t,
you said.
Peering down at the street far below us

You said to.

The height was dizzying

Y o u   s a i d
"Jump."

popcorn venom-
no I
won't, you dumb
c----

watching you become
daunted by my
expectations.

truth-
can't let anyone
down if you

throw
back  the
catch
without eating
it.

As I followed my heart
I left something behind
must find my way back to the start
In attempt to reclaim my mind
Upon this lonely road
I wasted so much time
believing what was told
following mislabeled signs