you are trying to seek the good
in people who have no intentions
of respecting the soul of yours
for they are works of the devil
curse them above for almighty god

i never fully understood
the meaning behind cheating
until one of my own did it to me

the prized image of me
deserves more respect
from not the world
but my own self
because i am my own enemy

if i do not ever know my worth
then who will ever either

i need to stop putting myself
in the category of nothing
when clearly i am worth
more than something

i have a red little shoebox
full of endless love letters
for the boys who have
captured & broken my heart
but there is just one envolope
stashed in the box of romance
for a man who awaits my love
with appreciation & devotion
because he will be my soulmate

that shining shooting star
you see out your window
in the lonely & cold night
should be put towards you
not wasted on another soul

let yourself be the wish
you always wanted
to come true

should i take him by the hand
to the last place we can be
or should i let go of his hands
& kiss him goodbye for good

i think i’m losing my mind, going insane. it’s been five minutes since you last called my name. nothing like it used to be, is the same.
- a person madly in love

there is not much left to say
when they have already
turned their bodies to walk

i never knew that silence can be rupted this loud

i can spend the entire day
creating lasting memories
just to have them see me
smile greatly upon them
only to be heartbroken
when they decide that
i am easily forgettable
after giving them everything
from my heart to my soul

drinking the heartbreak away
will not solve the problems
you bury yourself in as habit

with alcohol sipping on your lips
allowing dry unspoken words to be
the only chapstick you immerse the lips
you once saturated upon your love with

making stains on your wrinkled shirt
that has been reserved longly from
the month's old ***** laundry pile
because of denial to sober yourself
with no views of bettering the life
you suffer greatly continuous in

as you take each sip to another shelf
of empty bottles & intoxicated remorse
you will not embrace the empowerment
of the unawareness of your environment

yet instead the awareness of who
caused you to sip to another
emplacement of an empty shelf

i was willing to teach
but
you did not want to learn
                  
                           - how to love

no one has ever been there for me
when i needed them at my worst
now i am that person who is there
at my highest & lowest points
because they have proven otherwise

and after five tragic years
our sweet, broken souls met.
and looking straight into you,
into your deceiving brown eyes,
finally proved to me
that now you're just somebody
that i used to know.

i cry.
i weep.
i shed tears.
endless flows of water that produce my heartbroken reflection.

i exist.
not live.
i belong to this world full of sweet melancholy opportunities.

i hurt.
i ache.
i struggle.
i bleed saltless tears in hopes i will save myself one day.

and one day
this person
will enter
the life
existing
and think
of this soul
captivating
an incomprehensible
form of being
and think of it
not once
not twice
but all the time
and this
will be
an everlasting
love

there is no need to explain
when your actions said enough

if we already know how the story ends
then why do we continue to read the pages

why put yourself in the same situation
if we already know how it turns out

they shall have no confidence
to sing lips on stage to a crowd
of single furious eyes of rage
as they once did backstage
rehearsing successfully to thee

i know you
i knew you

i want you
i wanted you

i love you
i loved you

i have you
i had you

i cry over you
i cried over you

i met someone new
i have someone new

i prefer gold over diamonds
because at the end of the day
even the prettiest
can be artificial

let the blood of the strawberries
stain my lips as we both kiss
stinging my plush tinted skin
to have you marked on my body
with nothing to swipe away

i realized that everything
i always wanted

can be granted
in the clumsy hands of mine

when i finally release everything
i was never meant to be granted

i never wanted to leave a person so greatly
as the one who had every part of me
beautifully immersed within their life

let me break free from this trapped living

he was my preview
of what heaven is
on earth

that night you left i could not sleep
but you were able to
because you had her by your side

& now that you have broken me
i feel even more strung with stupidity
when i listen to your tasteful truths
rather than your tongue twisted lies

i am stuck here praying in the perking dawn
that not only mine but those who are deprived
are granted their teenage what ifs on their mind

my prayers are sent endlessly through angels
that their nightmares are turnt to dreams
of realities containing fantasies of romance

tears of pain turnt to golden lust glitter shining
eyes awaken from the sleepless nights of sorrow
brightening suns of morning of new beginnings

to cast their eternities of teenage hopes
as i lay close to my future with doubts of lost
due to results of youth taking majority

prayers of wings sent to my hopeless romantics
because teenage thoughts are on the minds

my body is the purest element
that i can protect greatly

dressed in shining armor
i only let the right ones in

because my youth
is the most vulnerable gift
that i can easily destroy
through the devil's temptation

it is so difficult to say no
to those i have been
dying to say yes to

i wish not to patiently wait
to the days my life is over
for sudden recognization
feelings are still the same

three precious words vowed
i am his yet he is not mine
devoted passionately to he
prayers above for love to be

if i let you know the truth
will you confess it all to me
tell me you still love me
as the past has proved

stay for once never leave
bless me with one chance
to prove it is meant to be
our love is made to succeed

times are slowly changing
my love for you is endless
you always stay for little
going without my control

it is seen that i am i
and simply he is he
yet time can only tell
what is meant to be

blessed be the lord. for not handing me a pencil and paper. to write my destructive fate. for i would have been eliminated by now. the wantings i wished to live upon are nowhere comparable to the glory he will continue to bless me with. for i am thankful. to have my creator be the author of my life. thanks be to god.

she was never obligated
to fall in love with you
until you provided her
with every reason why
she should fall for you

moonlight hit my gloomy face.
competition of tears in a race.
the pain you dealt left a place.
permanent mark, cannot be replaced.

tossing and turning.
mistakes felt like a burdening.
ungrateful regret unnoticed.
beautiful words, left unspoken.

like a thief in the night.
took my heart, without a sight.
beautifully killed an innocent soul.
her world left, deadly dull.

trust inbound within a human.
belief and faith there was no wrong doing.
broke my heart within a second.
everything gone, within a millisecond.

tossing and turning.
cries for all of you, yearning.
temptation is satan.
love was mistaken.

took a risk and rolled the dice.
should’ve known i wasn’t the prize.
another girl within his eyes.
laying in a bed, full of lies.

left alone, broken and cold.
heart is dead, pure hard stone.
how he made me feel, specifically.
is how he did her, physically.

three in the morning.
nothing but mourning.
experiences were truly blue.
the first night i slept without you.

tell me what it will be like in five years
      will your promises be fulfilled like said
       or will i be a mere memory in your brain

tell me what it will be like in ten years
      will i ever receive contact from you  
      or will you be married with children

tell me what it will be like in the future
      will we be together as we said once before
      or will i wait an eternity just for your presence

shocking discovery of character detected
noticeable difference of interests from rest
simple lack of human within truly affected
views of life with neglect gently unstressed

explanations suddenly founded in time
answers to failure in success present
minor details with bare minimal is prime
inability of awareness unintentionally meant

attention beheld shortly with socializing
entertainment seeking happiness is essential
appearances conveying perfection appetizing
flavors of bland extreme with no potential

views sweet enticing icing designed on top
simply nothing more captivating is less to drop

for i still seek
the potential
in every aspect
of your bittersweet
sorrowful existence
disappointment
uphold tremendously
for you are not my father
nor the man of my dreams

i didn’t think
that there was anything i could do
to make myself better
once i found out about her

i wish there was something more
i could do
to be more perfect like her

i wish there was something more
i could do
to have you love me like her

i wish there was something more
i could do
to have never seen you & her

i wish there was something more
i could do
to have never given you to her

i wish there was something more
i could do
to be her

i wish people knew everything
about me
so they can consider their actions
before applying them towards me
because
lately i have not been getting treated
the way i deserve to be

please do not
profess the love
you claim
that has returned
to the heart of yours
for my sweet self
when i have finally
learned how to walk
independently once again

i have spent too much of my seventeenth
loving the man who did not care the least
wasting precious time of my breath on he
when i could have mastered & explored
the truth be told i was not in love with him
just the simple idea of what could have been
if he was the perfect match for my existence
but at the end of the day he was not sadly
& after i opened my eyes some more
i realized he will never be the man i dreamt
because perfect does not exist in his dictionary
it was not anything he could have changed
or said to make me want to stay any longer
but it was my own choice after pain & tears
that i deserve a love that is innocently pure
the kind that i have trying for so long in life
& i will wait until the end of time if means
to be granted that one true love with a man
who will forever treat me like his only queen

he promised me a future. of him and i “one day.” yet explain to me the estimate, of exactly the meaning of “one day.” shall we cross paths simply in the next twenty four hours of breath? or shall we wait a week’s worth to a month? or simply is “one day” an excuse for never, to make my heart throbbing pain ease slowly away? if “one day” does not exist in our lifetime, please explain why.

love is not measured
by the amount of ****** encounters endured
but instead
the amount of fidelity put forth among two

time
the most delicate & precious capturing of all
yet i cannot hanlde it gracefully
in the clumsy hands i behold amongst myself

time
a beautiful saturation of memories
blessing the lives living on this earth
a mysteriously wonderful experience

time
if only i can get enough of it

you tell me not to rush
time is slowly for perfection
but time is ticking fast
and i have no other choice
but to fall in love with you

small yellow painted house
motorcycle parked outside
handsomely tall with brown eyes
he is the neighbor across the street

he watches me dance in the living room
recording me gracefully i am his masterpiece enchanted by the ******* of my clothing
peeking through the blinds in the evening

he sneaks late nights to visit
resting peacefully at my window
let me in for just two seconds
he pleads in begs and sorrows

he watches my every move
terrified i am most of him
does no harm to me physically
emotionally wishes for me eternity

i wish to run far away from him
yet he knows my mind & heart
cannot simply erase my life
for he is completely apart

timothy michael green
community neighbor
loving mysterious stalker
the man with a camera

there was so much i wanted to say
but
he was not the one
i wanted to tell it all to

i had fallen in love with you
the day you decided to leave
because your depressing absence
brought everything i didn’t notice