there is no other point in trying to tell you a story,
with all the reasons i ever loved you,
and all the reasons why i still loved you
after you stopped loving me.
and all the reasons why the seasons changed,
and you moved on but i stayed,
and stayed for so many long hours,
as the nights regret me nothing but sleepless tears.
there is no reason why the coffee tasted expired in the afternoon,
because i overslept for months and neglected my dusty grocery list
on the counter, because we were supposed to do it together.
besides the fact that i was facing depression
that was not curable without the treatment of your love.
my hot bedroom that summer gave humidified air,
with ventilation of my breath on the brink of dying without your love.
it did not equate to the fantasies that you wanted to never burn,
but brought the reality of a barely lit candle that was once lit,
as you held my body close through those late summer nights.
there was no reason my stomach hugged my body tight,
as my phone stayed charged to not guarantee a phone call from you,
forcing me to cut my bill off or the way i stayed distant from family.
because what once was “what is mine is yours”
now became the nightmare of just only mine.
because i gave you the opportunity to see a future with them,
that you never promised to keep, which labeled me as a failure.
it was not anything you did to me,
but it was everything you did to me,
and how you still continue to do everything to me.
due to the way i am,
and how you know you will live life
in regret of not remembering my existence.
you will still continue to do everything to break me,
to help me hope that i have nothing but the best of the worst,
as you look away to tell a different lie upon your sorrowful face,
that once had tears that glorified my beauty.
it was not any way that you wanted to make me feel,
it was the way you wanted to make yourself feel.
because you were too young to know
the true love that you lost,
because i still hold onto everything,
every memory,
every touch,
every smile,
every dollar that we last spent to savor our love.
because we were worth millions on this earth,
more than whatever you have chosen since i have been gone.