i am starting to realize
that i have the power
to shut & lock the door
before they even leave

it is so painful to sleep
through the night
when the stars & moon
whisper stories about you
as my pillow kisses my face
exactly as you once did

there is not much left to say
when they have already
turned their bodies to walk

your lips made love to mine
every dawn and eve with passion
as your hands and eyes secured my body
to make sure i knew where home was

fall deeply in love with yourself
so you can do the same all over
when the one was arrived
to shower you with romance

that night you left i could not sleep
but you were able to
because you had her by your side

i think what hurts the most
is knowing i have the ability
to voice my expodable mind
but cannot because inability
to recieve desired expectations

& now that you have broken me
i feel even more strung with stupidity
when i listen to your tasteful truths
rather than your tongue twisted lies

i didn’t think
that there was anything i could do
to make myself better
once i found out about her

small yellow painted house
motorcycle parked outside
handsomely tall with brown eyes
he is the neighbor across the street

he watches me dance in the living room
recording me gracefully i am his masterpiece enchanted by the ******* of my clothing
peeking through the blinds in the evening

he sneaks late nights to visit
resting peacefully at my window
let me in for just two seconds
he pleads in begs and sorrows

he watches my every move
terrified i am most of him
does no harm to me physically
emotionally wishes for me eternity

i wish to run far away from him
yet he knows my mind & heart
cannot simply erase my life
for he is completely apart

timothy michael green
community neighbor
loving mysterious stalker
the man with a camera

how do i show you my favorite view
when it is standing right in front of me

perfect height
big brown eyes
unforgettable smile
gorgeous laugh

stand right here & wait for me
i will be coming back with a mirror

shocking discovery of character detected
noticeable difference of interests from rest
simple lack of human within truly affected
views of life with neglect gently unstressed

explanations suddenly founded in time
answers to failure in success present
minor details with bare minimal is prime
inability of awareness unintentionally meant

attention beheld shortly with socializing
entertainment seeking happiness is essential
appearances conveying perfection appetizing
flavors of bland extreme with no potential

views sweet enticing icing designed on top
simply nothing more captivating is less to drop

thank you for taking a fraction of my life
only to waste it with heartbreak
& leaving me alone to my thoughts
of countless memories of what ifs 

only for me to dedicate time to
pick up my broken pieces to mend my pain 
by rediscovering myself
& inventing a stronger me
that no longer sees you as a necessity in my life

i think i’m losing my mind, going insane. it’s been five minutes since you last called my name. nothing like it used to be, is the same.
- a person madly in love

i was so terrified of losing you for the longest time
that i became angry with myself
for not finding the perfect solution
to reinvent myself
to make you stay in my garden

i wondered what i could do to make things better
for you to only praise the ground i walked on

day and night i fought battles alone
to become your dream

but then i realized you were sleeping
and never wished to wander
among the roses in my garden

and that made me realize
that you were never the gardener
that i deserved nor should have ever wished to have

for i am the owner of my garden
and i have the power to decide
who should smell the petals on my roses

i wanted to show you the world
but i realized
it was standing right in front of me

i crave a love so pure
that romeo & juliet
would die for

i cannot keep bargaining with time
if it was meant to be
it would have been

one day i will be able to love myself
more than the man i claim to adore most
and that is when i will realize
i have created an everlasting love
with only me myself & i

i am giving second chances
to people
who did not even deserve
a chance from the beginning

i do not know how to explain it
but it must be because
i am in love
& my heart assures me
with strong beats of symphony
that he is the one meant for me

you are the only person
you should be giving
limitless chances to

i am falling in love
with the absence of you
it is starting to wear off on me
& i am beginning to take
the love i once had for you
towards myself slowly now

i had fallen in love with you
the day you decided to leave
because your depressing absence
brought everything i didn’t notice

i think it hurts to be me
searching for the girl
who used to be
before used was she

teenage years haunt a falsehood of reality
but i think it hurts me most
becoming someone i shall disappoint

she was never obligated
to fall in love with you
until you provided her
with every reason why
she should fall for you

i do not classify myself
as a famous teenager
when the only attention
i am trying to seek
is the one from you
as the world applauses
my every move

we spend our entire lives searching
for that one thing we cannot live without
only to realize we cannot achieve it
& eventually we struck gold
but with something more times as great

if only we were not so stubborn
& knew what was in stored for us
much earlier before we adventured
for that one thing we thought
we could not live without

i had to **** myself
in order
to be resurrected

for the old me
was not enough
to survive in this world
      
                     - my revival

the way he was a part of my life
sung me sweet songs of love
but
the way he left my life one day
told a story of a lifetime

tell me what it will be like in five years
      will your promises be fulfilled like said
       or will i be a mere memory in your brain

tell me what it will be like in ten years
      will i ever receive contact from you  
      or will you be married with children

tell me what it will be like in the future
      will we be together as we said once before
      or will i wait an eternity just for your presence

i know you
i knew you

i want you
i wanted you

i love you
i loved you

i have you
i had you

i cry over you
i cried over you

i met someone new
i have someone new

i tighten my body with my blanket
wrapping it around my cold skin
pretending it is your warm body
spooning me with strong security
because my bed whispers stories
that you are not coming for return

waiting for the right timing
when it is not even present

praying for a shooting star
when it is not even present

hoping for a miracle
when is it not even present

staying loyal to everything
when they are not even present

you are trying to light fire in water
not realizing the problem was you
& not the situations you were in
for you were every element of
the beginning middle & ending

you talk endlessly about a pure love
to behold among the perfect person
but
tell me why do you settle for less
when you know what you truly want
do you believe you are worth silver
when your body is dressed in gold

time
the most delicate & precious capturing of all
yet i cannot hanlde it gracefully
in the clumsy hands i behold amongst myself

time
a beautiful saturation of memories
blessing the lives living on this earth
a mysteriously wonderful experience

time
if only i can get enough of it

for my creator took away my askings. not because i am ungrateful. yet instead as punishment. for putting up with the pain of my destructive gifts for too long. he has stolen them from him. in hopes of greatness to come. for am i the one who lost her dangers for better.

i hope you do not think
that i am writing this
in the occurrence of you
resting beautifully on my mind

truth be told
i am no longer writing
with your name being
the dictionary reason
to my scripted words

i truly am i not
thinking about you
i promise i have
forgotten about you

here it goes again
me with the lying

i lied because truth be told
this has everything
to do with you
dictionary defines it too

i should have invested time
into telling you
how much you meant to me
instead of
how much you did not

the love i lived for you
isn't acknowledgeable
to the present state
you exist contently in

the respect i showed you
is incomprehensible
to the women
of your depressing
future

the game you showed me
is nothing comparable
to the revenge i seek
to play horrendously
on your deceiving soul

the betrayal you gifted me
is nowhere near the blessing
i am given from above
to end your successful
falsely uphold life

for i am the game
you played the best

poetry
why are you haunting me
i am trying to live in peace
but the words bursting in my mind
are too strong to ignore
i must write down each one
until the sun has risen again

i think we spend most of our lives
continuously wishing for things
that we all know will not come true

you will never understand
the power of what i write
because you are not a poet

you will never be able to feel
the strong emotions of words
because you are not a poet

you will never see life as i do
because simply
you are not a poet

i was never once alone
because your absence
spoke so loudly to me

have you told yourself
i love you
in the mirror staring
because you are gorgeous
and you must see for yourself

how can i try to say hello and start a new life with new beginnings and opportunities when saying goodbye to you is the most difficult word to speak off the tongue of my yearning mouth for your sweet lips?

what if i don’t find love
and the options given
were all i had offered
and i let them all go

what if i missed the one
blinded to see he was there
all along - waiting for me
and i let him go

what if the one
doesn’t exist
just a mere fantasy
that’ll never be reality

case be so
i will not find love
yet instead eternal peace
and i will not let that go

it is so difficult to say no
to those i have been
dying to say yes to

how treacherous would it be
for me to give up my virginity
to a beautiful destroyer like you

my sweet, innocent love and heart
cannot be given away so purely
to be ripped apart in the hands of the devil

yet i love dancing with the devil
his mere intentions are evil
but i love him evermore