you are not obligated
to be attached
to the root
of any flower
in your garden

i do not know how to explain it
but it must be because
i am in love
& my heart assures me
with strong beats of symphony
that he is the one meant for me

one day i will be able to love myself
more than the man i claim to adore most
and that is when i will realize
i have created an everlasting love
with only me myself & i

what they did not know
was that i was not the villain
wickedly casting spells of hatred
on thee who spoke hell
upon the name of i

what they did not know
was my origin story
that caused me to go wicked

what they did not know
was that it was thee
who stabbed the knife
poured blood of revenge
from my pure golden skin
to spark the evil within

i crave a love so pure
that romeo & juliet
would die for

tell me what it will be like in five years
      will your promises be fulfilled like said
       or will i be a mere memory in your brain

tell me what it will be like in ten years
      will i ever receive contact from you  
      or will you be married with children

tell me what it will be like in the future
      will we be together as we said once before
      or will i wait an eternity just for your presence

hello

i hope all is well. did not mean to bother. you just happened to appear on my mind during the late hours. i wonder if you remember me. the smell of roses on my chest. the way i did my hair up real nice. & the cold touch of my fingers gliding down your back. i moved out west. i had to escape the haunting memories of you. you were my best mistake. & i still refuse to admit our love was not real.

i hope you found the girl. the one who treats you like a garden. full of all my roses. i know it is not easy to forget. you may love her more than me. of course you do. because your mind tells you to. but if that was not the case then tell me why are you still reading my letter. falling deeper in love with me as i continue. perhaps you should dial my number. there is just a chance i may answer. but with the world we live in second chances are the last of our matters.

i wish you a life of love. heartbreak. & endless thoughts of what if. for i am with the wind. breezing like the yellow petals on my jetting stem of thorns. do not be alarmed by this writing. you will not be able to see me again. we were not paired for eternity in our lifetime. for i am only a young girl. not yet discovered as a woman.

as i place this letter in the ivory envelope & seal it with a kiss. i will not think of your sweet honey dripping lips upon mine but the bitter taste of the way you kissed me goodbye.

my hair blows in the wind as i send this letter off. gray clouds slowly welcome me to the next. a quiet thunderstorm is coming to end me. only to revive me to a new beginning.


- farewell almost lover

it has been a while
since you been gone
i can feel you near
as if presence is here

active in my life
casted major role
understandment easy
i never moved on

haunting my dreams
night times are brutal
your shadow is company
imaginative figure among

present in the mirrors
looking deeply within
you are a part of me
every aspect within

you are in my mind
do you hear me speak
distancely miles far away
five missed phone calls

times are changing slowly
you are still presently here
past is the presence still
there's too much of you left behind

it is funny how
i see myself inside of you

it is funny
because i am saddened with the girl i have become

i wanted to show you the world
but i realized
it was standing right in front of me

fall deeply in love with yourself
so you can do the same all over
when the one was arrived
to shower you with romance

time
the most delicate & precious capturing of all
yet i cannot hanlde it gracefully
in the clumsy hands i behold amongst myself

time
a beautiful saturation of memories
blessing the lives living on this earth
a mysteriously wonderful experience

time
if only i can get enough of it

you gave water to my roses
when the world convinced me
that there was a drought

dear r,

as i walked into the room, glistening with shimmering bodies that enhanced my life with smells of sweet perfume and views of perfectly structured bodies, i realized that every other girl was just trying to be you. the presence of you wasn't physical, yet mentally you were all around me in the rhythm of the tunes and the flips of the glorious shiny hair. the silence between us creates a realizing because you are all i ever wanted.
  
                                                          - the guy who you have never met

i had fallen in love with you
the day you decided to leave
because your depressing absence
brought everything i didn’t notice

i was never once alone
because your absence
spoke so loudly to me

the way he was a part of my life
sung me sweet songs of love
but
the way he left my life one day
told a story of a lifetime

for the longest time i was comparing myself
to anything imaginable in life
i was convinced that everything in this world
was better than me

i would chase shadows down the grocery aisles
thinking that you would be in the floral section
picking out the bouquet you promised to deliver
to my house's porch steps in the pouring rain

i was convinced that if i was a perfect ten
we would be a match made in heaven
and no one else would be worthy of your love

then it took time to realize
that mindset would get me nowhere

shocking discovery of character detected
noticeable difference of interests from rest
simple lack of human within truly affected
views of life with neglect gently unstressed

explanations suddenly founded in time
answers to failure in success present
minor details with bare minimal is prime
inability of awareness unintentionally meant

attention beheld shortly with socializing
entertainment seeking happiness is essential
appearances conveying perfection appetizing
flavors of bland extreme with no potential

views sweet enticing icing designed on top
simply nothing more captivating is less to drop

what if i don’t find love
and the options given
were all i had offered
and i let them all go

what if i missed the one
blinded to see he was there
all along - waiting for me
and i let him go

what if the one
doesn’t exist
just a mere fantasy
that’ll never be reality

case be so
i will not find love
yet instead eternal peace
and i will not let that go

i am trying to master the art
of not giving a ****
the same way the world praises you
for succeeding in perfectly

i think it hurts to be me
searching for the girl
who used to be
before used was she

teenage years haunt a falsehood of reality
but i think it hurts me most
becoming someone i shall disappoint

you talk endlessly about a pure love
to behold among the perfect person
but
tell me why do you settle for less
when you know what you truly want
do you believe you are worth silver
when your body is dressed in gold

i tighten my body with my blanket
wrapping it around my cold skin
pretending it is your warm body
spooning me with strong security
because my bed whispers stories
that you are not coming for return

i hope you do not think
that i am writing this
in the occurrence of you
resting beautifully on my mind

truth be told
i am no longer writing
with your name being
the dictionary reason
to my scripted words

i truly am i not
thinking about you
i promise i have
forgotten about you

here it goes again
me with the lying

i lied because truth be told
this has everything
to do with you
dictionary defines it too

it cannot be the color yellow
if shades of dark fade faintly
in the background of falsehood

waiting for the right timing
when it is not even present

praying for a shooting star
when it is not even present

hoping for a miracle
when is it not even present

staying loyal to everything
when they are not even present

for i am terrified
that i will not
be able to experience
a contacting rendezvous
between the sweet souls
we once glorified the world with

for i am fearful
that i will not
be able to hear
your deceiving voice
once again in my lifetime

for i hold a deep fear
that you have moved on

i should have invested time
into telling you
how much you meant to me
instead of
how much you did not

have you told yourself
i love you
in the mirror staring
because you are gorgeous
and you must see for yourself

i do not classify myself
as a famous teenager
when the only attention
i am trying to seek
is the one from you
as the world applauses
my every move

it is so difficult to say no
to those i have been
dying to say yes to

but if i don't love you
then who will?

how treacherous would it be
for me to give up my virginity
to a beautiful destroyer like you

my sweet, innocent love and heart
cannot be given away so purely
to be ripped apart in the hands of the devil

yet i love dancing with the devil
his mere intentions are evil
but i love him evermore

i think we spend most of our lives
continuously wishing for things
that we all know will not come true

the love i lived for you
isn't acknowledgeable
to the present state
you exist contently in

the respect i showed you
is incomprehensible
to the women
of your depressing
future

the game you showed me
is nothing comparable
to the revenge i seek
to play horrendously
on your deceiving soul

the betrayal you gifted me
is nowhere near the blessing
i am given from above
to end your successful
falsely uphold life

for i am the game
you played the best

blessed be the lord. for not handing me a pencil and paper. to write my destructive fate. for i would have been eliminated by now. the wantings i wished to live upon are nowhere comparable to the glory he will continue to bless me with. for i am thankful. to have my creator be the author of my life. thanks be to god.

you are trying to seek the good
in people who have no intentions
of respecting the soul of yours
for they are works of the devil
curse them above for almighty god

for my creator took away my askings. not because i am ungrateful. yet instead as punishment. for putting up with the pain of my destructive gifts for too long. he has stolen them from him. in hopes of greatness to come. for am i the one who lost her dangers for better.

poetry
why are you haunting me
i am trying to live in peace
but the words bursting in my mind
are too strong to ignore
i must write down each one
until the sun has risen again

should i take him by the hand
to the last place we can be
or should i let go of his hands
& kiss him goodbye for good

i am giving second chances
to people
who did not even deserve
a chance from the beginning

you will never understand
the power of what i write
because you are not a poet

you will never be able to feel
the strong emotions of words
because you are not a poet

you will never see life as i do
because simply
you are not a poet

she was never obligated
to fall in love with you
until you provided her
with every reason why
she should fall for you

& suddenly everything became about you.

i still am here
after you have
shown me that
there is nothing
worth staying for

let the blood of the strawberries
stain my lips as we both kiss
stinging my plush tinted skin
to have you marked on my body
with nothing to swipe away

i cannot keep bargaining with time
if it was meant to be
it would have been

your lips made love to mine
every dawn and eve with passion
as your hands and eyes secured my body
to make sure i knew where home was

the prized image of me
deserves more respect
from not the world
but my own self
because i am my own enemy