i look at you & all my heart does is stop
for a second that feels like an eternity
my body cannot support me with air
because of your presence among me
i am silently gasping for a breath

for you know
i am not meant to
stay in one place

because rose petals
are meant to blow away

you always leave
without me telling you to go

you never are here
when i beg

but you return
when i do not ask

why are you like this to me

any kind of fool could see
that there was nothing great
in the deepest purity of my love

what they did not know
was that i was not the villain
wickedly casting spells of hatred
on thee who spoke hell
upon the name of i

what they did not know
was my origin story
that caused me to go wicked

what they did not know
was that it was thee
who stabbed the knife
poured blood of revenge
from my pure golden skin
to spark the evil within

you are not obligated
to be attached
to the root
of any flower
in your garden

there will be people you encounter in life
who are willing to wait for you
and others who are not
& both parties are okay to deal with
once you determine your worth

whatever you want that person to be
that is not currently the way they are
in the life of yours
will never be the way you want them
unless you be the way you want to be
make yourself the ideal way you want
then everything else will fall in place

my heart is giving up
and my body is tired
for giving the world
to those who
do not view me
as their world

moonlight hit my gloomy face.
competition of tears in a race.
the pain you dealt left a place.
permanent mark, cannot be replaced.

tossing and turning.
mistakes felt like a burdening.
ungrateful regret unnoticed.
beautiful words, left unspoken.

like a thief in the night.
took my heart, without a sight.
beautifully killed an innocent soul.
her world left, deadly dull.

trust inbound within a human.
belief and faith there was no wrong doing.
broke my heart within a second.
everything gone, within a millisecond.

tossing and turning.
cries for all of you, yearning.
temptation is satan.
love was mistaken.

took a risk and rolled the dice.
should’ve known i wasn’t the prize.
another girl within his eyes.
laying in a bed, full of lies.

left alone, broken and cold.
heart is dead, pure hard stone.
how he made me feel, specifically.
is how he did her, physically.

three in the morning.
nothing but mourning.
experiences were truly blue.
the first night i slept without you.

i am dying to feel those butterflies inside of me
that explode wings of romance all because of you

your warm soft hands on my body
soothing my temperature of hotness
on the fresh spring afternoon showed
you were only in love with my body
rather than my heart i have gifted you

you birth love
in places
love has
never existed

why do i always allow myself
to experience heartbreak
knowing that i enter the same situations
that will give me the exact outcomes
i have encountered many times in the past
for i keep disrespecting myself
in hopes that people who have never cared
will one day care for a girl like me

i never wanted to leave a person so greatly
as the one who had every part of me
beautifully immersed within their life

let me break free from this trapped living

one day i will get
that call from you
& i will not answer
not because
i did not want to
but because
i was too busy
to notice you called

& that is when you
will realize
it has been too late

but if i don't love you
then who will?

want you need in life. love. lust.
will never compare to
what you deserve in life. love. lust.

for the longest time i was comparing myself
to anything imaginable in life
i was convinced that everything in this world
was better than me

i would chase shadows down the grocery aisles
thinking that you would be in the floral section
picking out the bouquet you promised to deliver
to my house's porch steps in the pouring rain

i was convinced that if i was a perfect ten
we would be a match made in heaven
and no one else would be worthy of your love

then it took time to realize
that mindset would get me nowhere

your love makes me want to
tear off my clothes
& love myself entirely

i have heard the words of others
whispering behind my back
that you are still in love with me
& it is still i who is the girl
your mouth speaks in the night
when she is laying next to you
crying silently under the covers
because she knows that your songs
are not dedicated to her

hello

i hope all is well. did not mean to bother. you just happened to appear on my mind during the late hours. i wonder if you remember me. the smell of roses on my chest. the way i did my hair up real nice. & the cold touch of my fingers gliding down your back. i moved out west. i had to escape the haunting memories of you. you were my best mistake. & i still refuse to admit our love was not real.

i hope you found the girl. the one who treats you like a garden. full of all my roses. i know it is not easy to forget. you may love her more than me. of course you do. because your mind tells you to. but if that was not the case then tell me why are you still reading my letter. falling deeper in love with me as i continue. perhaps you should dial my number. there is just a chance i may answer. but with the world we live in second chances are the last of our matters.

i wish you a life of love. heartbreak. & endless thoughts of what if. for i am with the wind. breezing like the yellow petals on my jetting stem of thorns. do not be alarmed by this writing. you will not be able to see me again. we were not paired for eternity in our lifetime. for i am only a young girl. not yet discovered as a woman.

as i place this letter in the ivory envelope & seal it with a kiss. i will not think of your sweet honey dripping lips upon mine but the bitter taste of the way you kissed me goodbye.

my hair blows in the wind as i send this letter off. gray clouds slowly welcome me to the next. a quiet thunderstorm is coming to end me. only to revive me to a new beginning.


- farewell almost lover

i am starting to understand
that what makes me happy
is not always what i deserve

if he was truly perfect
meant for your soul
then why was the description
of his actions & love
not accurate to match
the way you portrayed him

i want to dance until my feet are worn
my body dragging me to my destination

i want to step one by one with you
holding me in your arms in the moonlight

i want our routine to create thunder
with each turn & leap we strut dramatically

i wish to reunite & perform once again together
my solo lacks passion without your presence

take my hand & guide me gently
with the rhythm of the melodies

everyone has something to talk about
whether those who speak
are with you or not
they will always have their mouth
better must to make it a story
they can endlessly tell decades about

i loved you
and you loved everyone but me
because so i will never gain
that love back again i gave
therefore i release my living for you

i never knew that silence can be rupted this loud

good morning roses. my second book 'seventeen petals on my rose' is now available on amazon. it is a poetry book composed of seventeen chapters, relating to the seventeen most important aspects of my life. it would mean the world to me if you would purchase the book. an ebook for 'seventeen petals on my rose' will be released in the next few days. thank you.

here is the link to check out my amazon author page for purchasing my works.
https://www.amazon.com/sydney-rose-salomon/e/B07L9N5694?ref=dbspebkr00abau_000000

i never wanted to be more dependent
on the reflection staring at me in the mirror

until

i understood that this would be the only
staring back at me with the tears falling

i am trying to master the art
of not giving a ****
the same way the world praises you
for succeeding in perfectly

no one has ever been there for me
when i needed them at my worst
now i am that person who is there
at my highest & lowest points
because they have proven otherwise

you told me that i was your dream girl
i guess you were right
because you never pursued me
to be your reality

it shall return back to your sweet soul
the moment you have made a vow to
yourself that the lively eyes of devotion
must embark on another adventure
in search for beauty in something else
within the life you are accustomed to
because you are immune to the living
of your original journey of what the eyes
of you possess have longed endlessly for

                                                            - set it free

my only regret is not knowing you weren't "the one" sooner. heartbreak could have been saved over one who cared more. the endless tears i dealt should have and could have been dripped over another love. but my weak soul was so tempted by your deceiving body that i lead on with your continuous lies. i wish i knew sooner.

i know i am not the only one
who has been bitten by english bug
can anyone out there prescribe me
with medication to get me through
the late nights
because i am tired of trying to sleep
when my mind is dancing with
endless stanzas & rhymes

it cannot be the color yellow
if shades of dark fade faintly
in the background of falsehood

if it was not for heartbreak
& late nights of crying tears
i would be the weak girl
to stay in bad situations

blessed be the lord. for not handing me a pencil and paper. to write my destructive fate. for i would have been eliminated by now. the wantings i wished to live upon are nowhere comparable to the glory he will continue to bless me with. for i am thankful. to have my creator be the author of my life. thanks be to god.

i never fully understood
the meaning behind cheating
until one of my own did it to me

maybe one day
we can pick up where we left

forget the heartbreak we both left
with scars from our pain healed
patching the past with our present

lead me your hand to kiss softly
just like the many times in the past
let one beginning spark an eternity

let me be the fault you knew
and forgive my mistakes of dawn

so that maybe one day
we can be that reality
you always dreamt of

why is that my heart
cannot correspond
with my mind
when it comes to love

i am stuck here praying in the perking dawn
that not only mine but those who are deprived
are granted their teenage what ifs on their mind

my prayers are sent endlessly through angels
that their nightmares are turnt to dreams
of realities containing fantasies of romance

tears of pain turnt to golden lust glitter shining
eyes awaken from the sleepless nights of sorrow
brightening suns of morning of new beginnings

to cast their eternities of teenage hopes
as i lay close to my future with doubts of lost
due to results of youth taking majority

prayers of wings sent to my hopeless romantics
because teenage thoughts are on the minds

make sure you have not forgotten
you
are the greatest masterpiece created
with delicate care from precious time
you
are my reminder for me to acknowledge
love from one to another is attractive

you gave water to my roses
when the world convinced me
that there was a drought

it is funny how
i see myself inside of you

it is funny
because i am saddened with the girl i have become

dear r,

as i walked into the room, glistening with shimmering bodies that enhanced my life with smells of sweet perfume and views of perfectly structured bodies, i realized that every other girl was just trying to be you. the presence of you wasn't physical, yet mentally you were all around me in the rhythm of the tunes and the flips of the glorious shiny hair. the silence between us creates a realizing because you are all i ever wanted.
  
                                                          - the guy who you have never met

it has been a while
since you been gone
i can feel you near
as if presence is here

active in my life
casted major role
understandment easy
i never moved on

haunting my dreams
night times are brutal
your shadow is company
imaginative figure among

present in the mirrors
looking deeply within
you are a part of me
every aspect within

you are in my mind
do you hear me speak
distancely miles far away
five missed phone calls

times are changing slowly
you are still presently here
past is the presence still
there's too much of you left behind

there is not much left to say
when they have already
turned their bodies to walk

it is so painful to sleep
through the night
when the stars & moon
whisper stories about you
as my pillow kisses my face
exactly as you once did