i have spent too much of my seventeenth
loving the man who did not care the least
wasting precious time of my breath on he
when i could have mastered & explored
the truth be told i was not in love with him
just the simple idea of what could have been
if he was the perfect match for my existence
but at the end of the day he was not sadly
& after i opened my eyes some more
i realized he will never be the man i dreamt
because perfect does not exist in his dictionary
it was not anything he could have changed
or said to make me want to stay any longer
but it was my own choice after pain & tears
that i deserve a love that is innocently pure
the kind that i have trying for so long in life
& i will wait until the end of time if means
to be granted that one true love with a man
who will forever treat me like his only queen

if he was truly perfect
meant for your soul
then why was the description
of his actions & love
not accurate to match
the way you portrayed him

i realized that everything
i always wanted

can be granted
in the clumsy hands of mine

when i finally release everything
i was never meant to be granted

she was never obligated
to fall in love with you
until you provided her
with every reason why
she should fall for you

let the one you goes to sleep with you
be the person
who wakes up loyal to you each day

love is not measured
by the amount of ****** encounters endured
but instead
the amount of fidelity put forth among two

i think what i miss the most
about your existence
is the idea that i have created
religiously believing a dream
that you were the perfect one
for my gracious life
when in fact
you were the worse pairing
for my soul to ever encounter

the way he was a part of my life
sung me sweet songs of love
but
the way he left my life one day
told a story of a lifetime

if it was not for heartbreak
& late nights of crying tears
i would be the weak girl
to stay in bad situations

one day i will be able to love myself
more than the man i claim to adore most
and that is when i will realize
i have created an everlasting love
with only me myself & i

stop tending for dead flowers
they no only can thrive off
the healthy water of yours
your use is better off elsewhere

should i take him by the hand
to the last place we can be
or should i let go of his hands
& kiss him goodbye for good

if we already know how the story ends
then why do we continue to read the pages

why put yourself in the same situation
if we already know how it turns out

you are trying to light fire in water
not realizing the problem was you
& not the situations you were in
for you were every element of
the beginning middle & ending

he shall return to your sweet soul
after every existence has denied
the love he has been searching for
exactly as the one you gave to him
since the day he has left your life

let the blood of the strawberries
stain my lips as we both kiss
stinging my plush tinted skin
to have you marked on my body
with nothing to swipe away

you cannot regret making a choice
that brings a safety to your heart
when you have been immune to life
with vulnerability to heartbreak

you talk endlessly about a pure love
to behold among the perfect person
but
tell me why do you settle for less
when you know what you truly want
do you believe you are worth silver
when your body is dressed in gold

i tighten my body with my blanket
wrapping it around my cold skin
pretending it is your warm body
spooning me with strong security
because my bed whispers stories
that you are not coming for return

i had fallen in love with you
the day you decided to leave
because your depressing absence
brought everything i didn’t notice

take precious time
to love everything
not once but twice
because sadly
loving it just once
may only be the offer
given to you in life

i want to fall in love with myself
but i always seem to come acrosss
a simple flaw among my living
that makes me dislike me even more
perhaps
i should not let the flaws define me
yet instead allow them to inspire me

the prized image of me
deserves more respect
from not the world
but my own self
because i am my own enemy

i need more of myself
to fall deeply in love
with everything about me

you tell me not to rush
time is slowly for perfection
but time is ticking fast
and i have no other choice
but to fall in love with you

have you told yourself
i love you
in the mirror staring
because you are gorgeous
and you must see for yourself

my body is the purest element
that i can protect greatly

dressed in shining armor
i only let the right ones in

because my youth
is the most vulnerable gift
that i can easily destroy
through the devil's temptation

make sure you have not forgotten
you
are the greatest masterpiece created
with delicate care from precious time
you
are my reminder for me to acknowledge
love from one to another is attractive

fall deeply in love with yourself
so you can do the same all over
when the one was arrived
to shower you with romance

your warm soft hands on my body
soothing my temperature of hotness
on the fresh spring afternoon showed
you were only in love with my body
rather than my heart i have gifted you

my innocent brown eyes
with curled lashing winks
will be manipulative to they
who i have no pure intentions for

it is hard to stay devoted to one
when the devil grants me many
of temptations that look like him
but
you will always be in my heart
the only boy that i have wanted
despite those of many portraying
elements that exemplify you

i have a red little shoebox
full of endless love letters
for the boys who have
captured & broken my heart
but there is just one envolope
stashed in the box of romance
for a man who awaits my love
with appreciation & devotion
because he will be my soulmate

there are numerous love letters
sealed with gloss kisses of mine
waiting for you to cry desperately
in the late night full of silence
where i am no longer present
because the tables have turned
and i am no longer desperately
a fool that is in love with you

for you know
i am not meant to
stay in one place

because rose petals
are meant to blow away

i am stronger than the person
who has stabbed me
but weaker than the lover
who has broken me
because love is the deadliest weapon

& the next time one decides to leave
i will securely fasten my shoelaces
& follow
not desperately in the same direction
begging in tears on my weak knees
but towards a new path of beginnings
sweetly existing in content without you

i am falling in love
with the absence of you
it is starting to wear off on me
& i am beginning to take
the love i once had for you
towards myself slowly now

that shining shooting star
you see out your window
in the lonely & cold night
should be put towards you
not wasted on another soul

let yourself be the wish
you always wanted
to come true

i am giving second chances
to people
who did not even deserve
a chance from the beginning

my one wish is
to find someone
who sees the world
as beautiful as i do
with their mouth
preaching poetic beauty
as i have once done
to all the boys
i have loved

i sat down in the tub
with the shower head
crying all over my body
reminding me
that i was not over you
i allowed hot steam
to wake my skin
only to realize
i must live another day
without you
in love with me

i fell in love with the soul of your’s
because
you gave me every reason to do so

i should have invested time
into telling you
how much you meant to me
instead of
how much you did not

you are trying to seek the good
in people who have no intentions
of respecting the soul of yours
for they are works of the devil
curse them above for almighty god

you never finished the story

what happens when the prince & princess
carry on with their love they greatly found

is it an everlasting love that they gossip of
or it is a false rumor to give us high hopes

because lately my fairytales
have been brutal nightmares

it is so painful to sleep
through the night
when the stars & moon
whisper stories about you
as my pillow kisses my face
exactly as you once did

what i want
is nothing like
what i deserve
& i am trying hard
to understand
that my worth is more
than settling for less

for this lenten season
i will be giving up
loving others before myself
because i have given too much of me
to people who do not deserve it

i am always dedicated to revising my poetry
but i never take time to focus on me
my actual life
perhaps it is time to revise the toxicity
crumble up the paper you have been writing
endless ink colors on
& begin a new story on a fresh piece
i am beginning to understand that
it is never too late to start over in life