I throw everyone aside
As though I can survive on my own;
I try to hard to restrain what's inside,
Forcing myself to suffice all alone.
Look into my eyes
As I push farther away
All the things I'm trying to hide
And the friends I silently beg to stay.
Lately I feel near to nothing,
Only anger and emptiness within me,
Yet equally I feel almost everything
(Emotionally only, not physically).
So often I'm lost in my mind's persistent shadows,
fighting everyone out from my incessant hell,
This knife seems to be the only friend I  know,
And now I'll even push that away as well.

Thank you for breaking me
And making me
A better me

Thank you for hurting me
And making me
A stronger me

Thank you for shooting me
And making me
Bulletproof

Thank you for burning me
And making me
Fireproof

Fueling the fire from my past
I Fear today, like its my last.
new Past, old present.
True only to Me with malicious intent.
I know now struggles flipped, Altered, twisted,
while mind fed and lite up will cause more then its worth..
I just don't want to be a man about it and numb all this worth.

All you can do is lie, on a burnt bridge.  
Had cried never again, but now your off feeling good once again.
Return only to cry in a ball in the bottom of my shower.
Asking for help because truthfully I care.
Voices tell me Forgiveness will come in clarity.
Self love will be true prosperity.
Look up again and understand.
I'm struggling in the same boat too and will never be considered normal again.
only holding fked up stories and looking at the old knife scars on my chest.

My perception is damaged,
With a Rationalized mind,
Only becomes a muse for
the confused.
Watching Scattered thoughts
and blind actions.
Analyzing  the holes I've created
in my young tarnished soul.
Only to find Locked up dirt covered demons,
And  broken prosperous dreams
reside in me.
Down by the river remorse their
rests marked tombstones,
that badly read,
                         "Rest In peace,
                               ******
                    You witty mother fker!"
Its been Personally Witnessed only in silent reflections that heart stopping decisions took me in this direction.
Realizing I'm only fallowing tail lights, that is traveling down the wrong rode. " mark of the beast"route  666