This was the first time my world changed.
I wish I could give advice to 3 year old me, to cope with loss and anger for losing daddy.
His body was gone, but his soul is strong.
His voice guiding, protecting, and teaching right and wrong.
Mom held my hand, and showed me life is fun.
Until the day she lost her son..
When you lose a soulmate you shut down, when youve said goodbye to your child a piece of you is gone

All these these words begging to spill out,
I dare not stray
So in my head
These words do stay

Please don't shout,
Wish to mend our moments.
However words do spread
And the room fills ever tense

I see you on my mind
I adore that devilish face
Though I'm left behind
Still my heart does race.

I find no escape
Even when I sleep.
In my dream you take shape,
And eventually I weep.

Will this ever turn around?
Back before I ruined us.
I feel my chest POUND,
Fast like a runaway bus.

I can't explain it any better,
I can't deny the way I feel..
Like a brand new sweater
Maybe I lost you too soon. Flat out unreal.

I think I've found happiness once more,
picking up the shards of my heart,
hoping she can hold them together for me.
And for some time, it holds strong. Looks almost like the scars have healed, and everything feels alright.
I am hopeful and eager to begin again.

She's worries about my sleeping habits and eating habits, so I give her my free time, I show her affection. We share a love all our own. So she guards my beating heart that I have given to her.

Then I am taken by surprise as I ring a customer through. She smells amazing, I feel my nerves on edge, heart racing, and I can't even help but tell her she smells so good. And I ask, already knowing... "Are you wearing Viva La Juicy?"

She took the compliment kindly thanked me and left, not realizing that her fragrance could affect a stranger so deeply.
And I'm left baffled at why it still hurts so badly to smell the perfume as it slowly fades. And my heart sinks yet again

Out of your 25 years I was lucky enough to share all my 22 with you. You will always be the big brother watching over me, and now im lucky enough to have you alongside Dad, my angels watching over..

Three years to the day, I had to enter the world after you, that was the beginning of looking up to you too.
you gave me adoration and allowed me to be a princess. From toddlers to teens, then we gave mom madness.
Oh boy would we fight, and i remember how much I cried... but I knew you always cared, the tears then dont even compare to the ones falling now. Your absence created an emptiness I've never felt before.
Not a day passes I dont think about you, but what was "our birthday" will be just as difficult as the day you passed. I came into this world sharing today with you and that will never change. Its been a constant of my life knowing we could celebrate each other anywhere in the world because today was ours.
Happy 26th Birthday to my Gary. May you rest in paradise and have a wonderful first birthday back with dad ♡♡