I'm an *******

I'm only nice
to make you weak

my mother didn't teach me how to love
I was taught well how to be manipulative

I'm the *****
my opinions are never wrong

facts

I don't care if they don't like me
I'm not going anywhere

I'm smiling behind their backs
I never hold the knife

sometimes you need to take advantage of the pity

so small
I can crawl out of sight

so blind
I listen to the whispers

stay on my good side
promise it's better this way

i know these streets too well these days
every night, like clockwork
i leave my mind at my bedroom window
sometimes i drive
sometimes i just run
but my favorite nights are the empty ones
where i don't do anything
turn off completely
just wander through the dark like a ghost

you wouldn't know, but i cut my hair
dyed it too

it's black now
and short
just like my mother's
when she was in high school
i look just like her

and on the nights that i just float
it's easier to imagine how she must have felt
to leave her kids alone like that
in this ****** world
with nothing but fragmented memories
of sunken eyes and thin wrists
pink scars on pale skin

I'm so tired of myself

hard to wake up
everyday in this skin suit

where do I go now
don't like counting down the days

november whispers to me
in a quiet dream

reality breaks my heart
recreating our last days in my head

I'm a little tired
hope some sleep will help me