stranger

stranger Nov 2020

i searched for a suicide hotline today, in one of my classes,
knowing too well that i shouldn't expect for one to exist,
after all we're too small of a country to think of suicide.
but i found one,
and it was called antisuicide.com
ironically though, the hotline only functioned between 7:00 and 19:00
so if you want to die at midnight there's nothing of that sort to stop you.
good luck

stranger Nov 2020

do you ever think of all the people who remember you in their dreams?

haha...there's nothing here to disown
timeless youth
nothing here to keep,
just me.
i'd call you to tell you that i am so much more alive now,
but i'm scared you liked me better when i wasn't.
i'd call you to tell you that you might've been the truest form of love i've ever felt,
but i'm scared you won't even answer.
grey is every word you sent me
and i'll keep it like that,
i was never meant to be there anyway.
i told my mom about you and she laughed,
she knew i always bring in secrets,
and you were one i didn't even know about.

hah man it's 10:15 the world's going to **** and im out here writing about how im always late when it comes to my feelings. bless it's been years.

stranger Oct 2020

what a lovely life

you know what's funny?
me sitting in this online class,
begging myself to keep my patience.
these people haven't seen anger yet,
but they just might.

ahhhahahahahaahahahahahahahahhahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaahahahhaahhahaahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaa

stranger Oct 2020

really?!

oh how you believe,
that the imbecility surrounding will dissipate,
that all that is unjust you can eradicate.
foolishly hoping and dreaming for a day,
when the unjust will finally be fair.
how you cant take in the real,
maybe that's why i feel so non-existent,
i have been too aware for my own good.
.
trebuie înghițită ideea de a trăi în imbecilitatea mediului,
de a-ți păstra șirul gândurilor într-o lume plină de jeg.
visez la nopți în cluburi goale de sub pat
gol și anost
sufăr cu strălucire.

ahaahaahahaahahahahhaahhahahahaahhaha
why am i here

#romanian

stranger Oct 2020

you'd think id give up by now

It can't really be 01:10
Tommorow can't be real
The soft voices in my ears are saying it too.
It's too late to be this early.

Such an honour to meet you,
My suicidal rendition of self,
I think i love you
.

stranger Oct 2020

i am she

Displace
Misplace
Replace
Me.
With another.
Or perhaps something entirely different.
Don't you get tired of yourself?
The scabs on my knees and elbows crack at the feeling of despair.
They bleed out red and green thread, love and envy for the undead.
This is just an escape,
Another rusting coping mechanism thrown out to the pile.
Don't you ever get tired of yourself?
The routinical sequences living inside my head would agree,
She's exhausted
She's tired of me.

stranger Sep 2020

man what am i doing on this website it's so cold and i can't sleep

i am so exhausted
of the cotidian
the daily
the unorthodox.
i want to be afloat,
no more of this suspended waiting
no more of this nonsense.
i want silence, not bliss,
i want not the love but a mere kiss,
a breath of air inspired into my throat warmly.
i want too much already...
a little more sleep
a little more warmth
PATIENCE
or, maybe
death.

#ugh