Roses are red
the sky is blue
I can't stop smiling
because I'm thinking of you
grabbing my waist
your right hand caressing my elephant tattoo
leaning in to kiss my lips
I love the way you taste
you're the only one I miss
cause I love
oh, yes that's true
there is no truer love
than the love I have for you
<3

i don't know what to do
he wants me
i want him
too
but
is it right
or
good
for both of us
this kinda love
isn't just something
to play with
*******
is serious
and no one takes it that way
anymore
i don't need one more thing
to be attached to
ughhh

if you do anything
four thousand times over
it will start to get
boring

like
***

but what about
breathing?

facebook messages
blinking at me
angrily
read me
they say
say something back
they scream
but i don't want to talk to
any of you
mostly because
i don't know
what to do
about anything
anymore
stop asking
me

i'm sitting in my underwear
petting my cat
eating chocolate
and writing poetry

why?

cuz *******
that's why

tonight i
lost it a little
and it's not even night
it's morning
just to be clear

start over...

this MORNING
i
lost it a little
and i don't know
how to be better

i talked at a white shining light
on my computer
i vented
at a webcam
for thirty minutes
and i looked myself in the face
and tried to tell me it'd be alright
but the words choked me
and i couldn't
get them out

and im not trying to be an overdramatic
*******
a whiner
or a ****** kid
i just have abandonment issues
and cutting
and wantingtodietoomuch
issues
and i feel like everyone is biding their time
waiting
to leave me
and i feel like
i can't sew up the child-sized holes
in my dad's heart

and it's ******* father's day
and i can't even do that
i can't ******* replace
the nine other kids
that should be here
i can't make up for that
i am just
one person
one daughter
and i cannot make my daddy
better
and i
hate
it

happy
*******
father's day