Not guilty not guilty not guilty.

All three accounts. For naught.

Welp.

Post a series

Of really short couple-lined incomplete-feeling poems?

(As if you guys are going to answer me.)

They say they love you.
And they care about you.
And that theyre there for you.

And. Thats supposed to feel good. Its supposed to feel nice.
Be nice.

But honestly.
It just makes me feel nervous.
Uneasy.
Apprehension and suspicion grip me.

They shake me.

And yet at the same time, mostly,
I feel apathy.
Nothing
As if your words were as grains of sand to my beach.
As if they were the folds of some drapery
That i depicted in my sketching class.
Singularly, it is so insignificance to me.
And maybe thats where im going wrong. Looking for beauty and solidity in pebbles and ripples.
It all. Means something. Everything. But.
It all means nothing.
Theyre just words.

And whos to say youre even real.

Wait.
Am i even real.

i want you.
i need you.
i love you.


your are.
so far
away.
i just

want to wrap my arms around you
why dont you
tell me
"Everything's gunna be okay"

i try
and try
and try again

feels like no progress,
while so many friends.

you cant take.
just what you need
but what you want

....IS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING.
LIKE. HOW ABOUT
JUST TRY TO BE HAPPY AND ****
AND MAYBE **** WILL WORK OUT.



until then,
(i guess)
i love you,
i want you.
i need you.

Im ******* jealous.

Im jealous of someone i love.

Because someone that i want to love me,

It feels like they love everyone else so much more.


And it hurts.
And i feel guilty.
And i dont want this.

I didnt ask for it.
I would never.
I dont want it.

I want to feel better.
I want to be better.


You love so much
So many
Other people.
And. Its pretty ******* clear.

And.
When it comes to me.
Its observable.
But.
It doesnt feel like much
And i love you
And i want to love you
But.
How.
How does any of this even work.
How does any of it really even work.


This is stupid. Pretty stupid.
Often times. I think of just running
I want to run so bad
So ******* bad.
And then i think of other people.

And how much i ******* care.

And it all hurts.
All over again.
And so much moreso than before.

You are so *******
Cute. I just want to cuddle,
No, melt into you.

You-- just so fuckkin
Soft. I want to caress you.
Tongue gliding across

Skin. I just want you.
Admit how much you want me.
I could rock your world.