Im ******* jealous.

Im jealous of someone i love.

Because someone that i want to love me,

It feels like they love everyone else so much more.


And it hurts.
And i feel guilty.
And i dont want this.

I didnt ask for it.
I would never.
I dont want it.

I want to feel better.
I want to be better.


You love so much
So many
Other people.
And. Its pretty ******* clear.

And.
When it comes to me.
Its observable.
But.
It doesnt feel like much
And i love you
And i want to love you
But.
How.
How does any of this even work.
How does any of it really even work.


This is stupid. Pretty stupid.
Often times. I think of just running
I want to run so bad
So ******* bad.
And then i think of other people.

And how much i ******* care.

And it all hurts.
All over again.
And so much moreso than before.