Life is a balance of holding on
Letting go and trying again.

I am not wrong for not believing the
Same thing as you.
We see the world in a different way.
This poem isn't about you.

I am wrong for being real and not hiding behind a lying mask.
You know what I am broken and
In a dark place.

You look at me with shameful eyes.
Do you think I wanted this.
Do you think I wanted to be battle with anxiety and depression.

I doubt everything you said
Because it is as fake as you.

I let my guard down letting you in.
Believed the dream you sold.
The doubt in my mind gets louder.
I read your messages.
I hear your voice in my dreams but i
Am not sure if it's the real you.
Sometimes I wish that I never answered Your message.
Then I wouldn't feel like this you
Were someone I once loved.

Do you think I wanted to be
This broken?.
Spend everyday fighting the same
Tried old battle.

Trying to keep myself away from
That dark place in my mind.
Trying to keep the smile on my lips.
Trying to being strong.

I can't sugar Coat my feelings
So you don't need to deal with it.
Come sit in the darkness of my mind with me but I know you won't.

I never wanted attention I just
Wanted you to hug me.

The sting of tears kiss my eyes.
Your words cut like a knife.
I have been shining longer more than you have ever seen.
I have fought more fights and came
Out with the scars.
Never tell me its my time to shine.
I have never stopped shinning.

I love to watch the ones who are
Acting fake everyday.
Chasing perfection that doesnt
Exist yet they call me crazy.

Sitting alone writing these words
Thinking about you.
Sometimes I can hear your voice
In my dreams, I am  not sure if it
Is the real you or not.
When you lose someone
They are gone and they are never
Coming back.
I wish that wasn't true.
I wish that this was just a horrible dream and i would wake up,
But I know it is not a dream.