I pray every night hoping
That God hears me.
Hiding feelings in lines of poems.
Laying awake missing old faces.

Asking my self why I am so broken?.
Why am I not healing?.
Why won't they listen to me?.

My mum's pain didn't stop until
The day she died.
My brothers and sister smoke the
Pain away.

Is it okay not to be okay?.
Is it okay not wear a fake smile?.
Is it okay not to always be strong?.

I remember why I could see the
Beauty in everything.
Now I see nothing and feel nothing.

You never cared about how the sleepless nights affected me.
How the overthinking kills me slowly.

Words that cut deeper than any knife ever could.

My mind is full of painful thoughts I wish that were not mine.
I feel things I wish that I didn't feel at all.

You call me a monster because I fought back.
You created this monster who fought back so who is to blame?.

My bully wasn't in the playground or outside on the street.
My bully was at home.

Night is when everything catchs me.
The worry the anxiety the fear.
That loud voice in my head, which begs Me to make it stop hurting.
Trying to heal each wound one by one.
I hate the night because that's when my terror begins.