stephanie burrows

stephanie burrows Oct 2018

When night falls that's when the worrying thoughts starts.
I am good enough?.
I am trying so hard to open to up
But none listens to me.

I am trying really hard to be normal.
I am trying to man up as they keep
Telling me to do.
Fighting the darkness in my own head.

Waking up to the tired questions.
Whats wrong with you?.
Your too loud.
Your too quite.
Why don't you come round anymore.

Your not smiling enough.
Your not talking enough.
Your not laughing enough.
You not doing it right.

You need to speak up more.
You need to listen.
Your just being selfish now.
Do this so I feel happy.

I am more broken than they think.
Night falls and fear takes over.
My chest tights.
My hearts starts to beat fast.

I am depressed because the ones who are meant to help me.
Are the ones who are hurting me the
Most.

I wrote this for mental health day as I have suffer with anxiety and depression and today I had a low day and just wrote how I feel. Mental illness isn't an act and you just can't man up and get on with it.
The bad days are always hard to get through

stephanie burrows Oct 2018

The woman I use to know

I watched her mind break and her heart shatter.
A woman who always smiled.
Who did everything brought up seven kids alone.
Who beating everyday.
Her smile was always there no matter what.
So warm so kind so gentle.
Her heart was full of love for everyone.
Nothing was ever to much too ask her.
As the years came and gone things changed.
Her body become weak.
Her home become a prison without bars.
Illness took everything from her.
Her only dream was to live by the sea.
A dream she never got.

I wrote this poem about my mum she was so strong and so important in my life she was always happy no matter what happen now I live by the sea living her dream.

stephanie burrows Oct 2018

Comfort

Comfort comes in different ways.
A hug.
Kind words.
Your favourite dinner.
A poem.
A funny memory.
A kiss from the one you love.
Your child's smile.
A friend who is always there.
Whatever way you find it hold it
And never let it go.

I wrote this because comfort doesn't come in one form or one way we all find comfort in the little things or big things.

stephanie burrows Sep 2018

Don't be scared

Don't be scared of failure
It's there to teach you
Not hurt you so embrace it.

I think that in the times we are living in we see failure as a bad thing but I feel we shouldn't because it helps us to learn get better and get to where we want to be

stephanie burrows Sep 2018

Say it and mean it

Do it so you don't look bad.
Do it so it gets it out the way.
Do it so it keeps everyone happy.
Do it so it shuts everyone up

A smile to hide how forced you feel.
Some were you don't want to be.
Eyes on the door wanting to get away.
Stuck listening to mindless talk.

Counting to ten never does work.
You tell your self its only for awhile.
Everyone talking to you all at once.
Wishing you could have some peace.

Asking yourself why didn't you say no.
How hard is it to just use your mouth.
Feeling the anger build and build.
Sitting in a place worse than hell.

Can't listen to this small talk anymore.
Can't bear anymore news either.
Can't take the pointless conversations
Thats going no where.

Not saying no leaves you worse off.
Not saying no leaves you bored.
Not saying no leaves you stuck in hell.
Not saying no comes with a price to pay.

Say no fast mean it when you say it.

This came from when I found my self having to sit someone I didn't like this was wrote in the moment

stephanie burrows Sep 2018

A heart of thorns

The rain falls covering my tears.
Deep wounds that can't heal.
Another knife sharpen ready to use.
Another scar added.

Picking up pieces of a broken heart.
Paranoid thoughts take over.
Drowning in a sea of mixed emotions.
Not sure who to trust.

Burying the pain in lines of poems.
Saying nothing to anyone.
What they don't know can't hurt them.
But it's hurting you.

If you where picked and loved.
Only to be left and lied to.
Wouldn't you grow thorns to?.

stephanie burrows Sep 2018

Sleep

My only relief is sleep.
Where I'm free.
Not hurting or crying.
Living with out fear.
Until morning comes taken it away.

Sleep feels like it is the only time where we are really free