"I like you!"
"love you"
"me too."
*"...i loved you"

I have been smoking
Three malboros
Each night I drink
To prove to you that I've changed
Into something you'll hate
And my naive ****** throat
burns with the smoke
But it does not burn
as much as being alone
it was your birthday
three days ago

"can we be friends again?" she sheepishly whispers
he looks up tired and sick of her ways.
"we will always be friends, i will always love you", he smiles sadly because he knows its the truth. she was jealous and unhealthy, he honest and not ready.

is what you repeat to me.
But what you are communicating to me
All the I need you to be’s
All the I want you to be’s
All the please baby pleads
All this communicating is key
In reality
Is me changing to be
What you need to see
But what i am not meant to be
And all this communicating is key
Is contridictory to what you believe
Yes. it is a key.
To a door in my heart you have closed
To a brittle locket now froze
Now we sit here in silence
Two islands
In an ocean of pride
And unspoken lies
And I-wish-you-had-tried’s
And i-don’t-want-to-cry’s
And my-hope-has-now-died’s
died
died.
Now our eyes flicker to each other’s faces
Like a candle’s flame thats seen too many places
I hear the air escape from you lungs
And it makes this war endless, that nobody’s won
And I know that you love me;
but I don’t want you to hug me
I want your communicating keys
to just go home
with out me

They walked in together with flushed faces and cold ears, after walking for what seemed like minutes in the coniferous forest surrounding the cedar cabin. Those minutes were actually hours, but when they were out here time did a funny thing and sometimes stopped all together. He hung their coats in the closet as she stripped herself of boots and socks, with bare cold feet she walked across the patterned carpet feeling its fibres between her toes. She  perched herself on the couch in her favourite reading spot. He then too assumed his position on the couch allowing a space inside his outreached arm to be filled by her appreciative body. As she blankly gazed at the green life out the window, he gazed at her. Memorizing the freckles on the bridge of her nose and the way she puckered her lips without noticing. Absorbing all of her for a keepsake in case she decided to disappear as fast as she had come. This girl, he thought, is the most beautiful combination of genes and timing I have encountered in my life. But he didn’t mean physically, he meant her laugh and her stubbornness and how she believed she was spontaneous but every moment of her life was  planned. It scared him how much and how detailed he saw his future, and how she was undoubtedly in it as far as he was concerned. Sometimes he wished he didn’t feel so much for her, for them. He had been hurt before and he grew accustomed to the calluses around his heart.

She breathed it all in, slowly but thoroughly. She breathed in the warmth of the burning furnace, the smell of wood that was still alive. She breathed in his sent of musk, soap, and mint. She breathed in his delicious smell of love, his pheromones. This place was exactly what they needed, some time in a surreal place to remember each other and how well they used to fit. How well they do fit. The stress and distractions of everyday life were tugging at the strings that kept them woven together. All they needed was time to be silent together, time to think together about different things. She knew that their hands and souls would fit together again like they always had, if they just gave it a chance. And now, here they were in their own made happiness. Sitting  here as one piece of human, making love in the most innocent of ways.

we used
to be
tourists
in our
own city
we would
go to the
art gallery
and whisper about
impressionism
you would
hold my hand
as we walked
through gift shops
we would laugh
at over crowded
hiking
trails
everything
was lovely
we desired
to see
new things
in the old
we loved
each other
so well

"Hold me",
"no",
      "really grab me",

                     take a hold of my soul

...he cupped her ***
                                     and picked her up

there are typos that your bare feet left on my back. thoughtless imprints left by miss steps you took. i feel your weight shift as you cautiously measure where you place your miss placed barefoot. you, walk all over my back without a second glance, or thought. you push away the blood in my skin with the weight of your bare feet and bare bad intentions.  there  are typos that your bare feet left on my back. but those bad impressions, never do last.

Still I dream if your sweet lips
Against
Mine.
Still I dream of us and wish I had
So much more
Time.
I adore you
I deteste you
I adore
I deteste
Until there's nothing left
(Of
me.)

I'll forgive you at the drop of a coin

at a slight change of the weather

I will always easily forgive you

because I easily love you

because I still can't believe how you

need me,

even a fraction of how much

I need you

and if one day I didn't forgive

I could no longer live

because I wouldn't

couldn't

wake up without you

how can so much pain
fit in the frame of a boy your age?
How do you hold so much weight
with your slender;
tender stature?
sometimes i see it escape,
in drips from your face
that no one else seems to trace
the load you carry isn't even yours
it's your mother's
it's the man who calls himself your father's
it's the death of so many people
each a bead strung on line of your memory
that you wish didn't exist.
it makes it
so hard
to love  you,
because of this thick skin that has developed around your heart,
and your hopes
like rings on a tree trunk.
but so loveable, so helplessly loveable...
I need to count your rings.

my bed talks about you as i try to sleep
the sheets whisper stories about your skin,
the smell of soap and sweat,
the smoothness that met roughness at your scars and seams
the pillow remembers your curls and dreams
and the way you would fold it under your chin to better look at me
my hips remember your hand placed on them gently,
with subtle entitlement and obvious love
my neck remembers the light kisses at dawn,
to make sure i was still beside you
my knees remember your knees,
and how they would brush against one another,
every once in a while
my lips still recall the feel of yours in the darkness,
before my eyes had the chance to open

There are these invisible bruises where your skin used to touch mine.
Bruise where my thighs and knees meet, on eyelashes and the soles on both feet.
The branches of capillaries under my skin moan and gasp in withdrawal of the warmth that is you,
Was you.
Instead of coming to the surface in violets and blues,
They violently cut through me, submerge past my flesh into the depths of me,
And into where my soul used to be.
Invisible bruises are the worst variation,
Because no one can see them so no one can explain the pain running down my face
In the middle of the day.
No one understands the shakes in my hands
As I try to pray for this all to be erased.
You must be made of lead because when I used to kiss you my lungs would fill with a heavy liquid,
And days after I  felt poisoned of the fatal kind.
Sometimes, I wish I were blind so that my eyes couldn't have fallen upon you,
Couldn't have absorbed you and saved you for future dreams.
If I were blind then I wouldn't believe in love at first sight,
The moment I saw you I was reborn-then died.

1.* Led Zeppelin
two.Football
3.***
four. Kings of Leon
5.intimacy
six. Trust
7. skateboards
eight. Hazel Eyes
9. Subway
9.the sandwich shop
Ten.  Love

Baby
don't ever leave me
don't die,
or lose interest
is more realistic I guess

Baby
don't ever leave me
you're rough wool sweater
looks quite good on me
And I worked so ******* that painting I gave you last fall
And I really like your laugh
And the smell of the nape of your neck

Baby
don't ever leave  me
I want to grow old with you-
I mean
I want to have your spawn-
I mean
we kind of get along?

So stay
for maybe more than today
I know sometimes I'm afraid
and we've made some mistakes
but just,
don't leave me

"how are you?"
"good, considering."
"considering what?"
*(i am unloved)

No puedo parar pensando en ti

Ni tus pestañas

Ni el olor de tu piel

No logro olvidar tus manos

Como me acariciaban

Y como movían por mi cuerpo con debilidad y oportunidad

Tus ojos están quemados en mi mente con la candela de mis sueños

Hueles a cigarrillo y aventura

Hueles a hablando nariz contra nariz

Eres electricidad y yo una lámpara sin luz ( te necesito)

Haces que todo los pelos en mis brazos se levanten al cielo.

Eres celestial.

Y yo terrestre.

La lejura entre nuestros cuerpos me enferma.

Thinking of your cold fingers  tracing my spin and making circles on my neglected skin,  makes the air I breathe thin.  Your eyelashes flutter with embarrassment as you try to to steal a kiss from the nape of my neck that was yours all along. Shivers wrap around me like a cloak though all I feel is your body's warmth.

Come home faster my dear.

you are a lily floating in water full of sharks

you are a feather in the middle of a hurricane

you are a baby in no mans land caught in the middle of crossfire

you are a tiny flame that tries to flicker in the middle of a storm.

you are a boy, naive and frail

without a father in the middle of sadness, ******* and rock and roll music

I am the one loving you and watching you almost but not quite slip away every ******* day

I look at my wrist and see little grapes clustered were your fingerprints left tiny hints

of maybe too much pressure

purple and blue ink stains where you grab me ever so softly

(or firmly)

around my waist and in the hard lines of my collar bone

like blackberry juice after a long day of picking type stains,

different stains are left on the skin on my neck

and the start of my *******, but these are lighter

and they do seem to flutter in lines down my shoulders

the ones that do make me moan more

the ones that do bring me closer

My heart is so heavy, could you please carry it for me?

why is yours like sand always slipping through my shivering fingers?

I yearn to embrace it
tightly, but you won't let me.
I want to show your heart  how tenderness and kindness are maybe
not so frightening
But you,
won't even show me what it looks like.

Where have you gone?
you have been a stray for so long
you don't always have to pretend you are strong...

I'm not, strong.
but I'm stronger than you,
I can take care of you if you need me to.
yet  you can't even show me a fragment of your truths...

And,
I think I need proof.
that you're still here,
and that you're wanting to be in my
atmosphere.
because it really is not clear

if you want this or not

all the times that i fought...
for you
yes, always you.

Proof you know this word don't you?
that's the kind of thing you like facts,
numbers and straight lines.

When the word love slips clumsily from my lips into yours
it has a hollow taste,
it feels like a waste
maybe I love what you used to be
maybe that space is now empty.

There was a day where your lovely soul
got traded with one belonging  to  that of a paper doll's

Sometimes, I read your horoscope to see if the stars know you better than I do,
maybe if I listen to them I'll be able to understand the way you are.

Sometimes, I look at pictures of your face and look for meaning in your expressions.
I try to see what your looking at because it's never at the camera.

Sometimes, I wear your sweater to sleep to see if I will dream your dreams and know what all of this means.

Sometimes, I wonder if you read my horoscope to see if the stars know me better.

When did you stop loving me?
She whispered into the wind that ran through the trees
When did you stop loving me?
She wept into the deepest sea that swallowed everything whole
When did you stop loving me?
She sadly mumbled into the darkest of nights that absorbed every glimmer of light